Tag Archives: compulsive eating

Cravings, Emotional Eating, Food, General Health, Habits, Thought Patterns

The Sound of an Open Box of Cookies

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Today I was speaking with a woman who had gastric bypass surgery a year ago and I shared a fear with her – that the surgery won’t work. That I will still wake up and that my first thought will be, “What can I have to eat?”

That is literally my first thought every morning. And it accompanies me all day long. “What do I have to snack on?” “What’s for lunch?” “What’s for dinner?” ” I sure could go for a milkshake.” It’s all day long every day. And if the answer to the snack question is, well, anything, I’m going to go get it and probably eat it until it is gone – much like Paula Poundstone and her pop tarts.

Poptarts, chips (or crisps for our UK friends), snack cakes, nuts, ice cream, cookies, everything. If I know it is in the kitchen – particularly if I know the box is open – it’s going to talk to me until I go in there and get it. I don’t even have to be hungry or especially want a snack. If I know there is a box of something open in the kitchen, it’s going to be gone soon.

The woman I spoke with today had the same struggle before her surgery. She didn’t say that Little Debbie talked to her, but she had that same struggle. Since her surgery, she does not.

Like me, she didn’t feel full. I rarely do. At a recent family reunion, I made an exception and was miserably full; but, in general, I don’t feel full. It’s frustrating when logic says that I should be sated, but my limbic system is not at all onboard.

The professionals have all told me that surgery will change this and that afterwards, my tastes will also change. Like my new friend, I’ve been doubtful. However, she assured me that it does happen. Although she has sampled the treats she enjoyed previously, she wasn’t able to finish even one. The thing was too sweet and the chocolate tasted waxy. And she said that her favorite chips were far too salty. I am SO hopeful that I have the same experience! Let’s be honest, not buying it doesn’t work. There are two large grocery stores, several convenience stores, and 10 to 15 restaurants within two miles of my house and I do have a car. Not keeping garbage food on-hand makes me have to expend more effort to get it, but I’m not scared. I know where Sonic is. I have to not want to get in the car.

In addition to being tired of hurting all the time, I am sick of thinking about food all the time. I’m not a hunter/gatherer and god knows I’m not on Naked and Afraid. I don’t physically have to think about where my next morsel will come from and I’m tired of spending so much time doing just that.

Food, Habits

Clean That Plate and Polish Those Bones

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I heard it just yesterday – “All those children starving in Haiti and you’re going to leave that on your plate.”  Sister Paula’s variation for us first and second graders was, of course, the starving children in Africa.  My grandfather advised us to “polish those bones” when Nanny served chicken.  And, at the Doty dinner table, we were encouraged to belong to The Clean Plate Club.  How ever you heard it, I’ll bet you were also told to eat all of the food that you took or that was served to you.

Tacoma, WA, food bank
Shelves at the food bank in Tacoma, WA

Once upon a time, Americans didn’t have refrigerators or the electricity to power them. They had no way to preserve left-overs and, since food was a great deal more scarce then and too valuable to waste, it had to be eaten when served. Fried food was a good thing because it increased the number of calories in a single serving, providing more energy from the same dinner. When my mother was young, she and her brothers picked cotton in Mississippi.  Without that energy, it would have difficult for them to survive, much less work the farm. Waste not, want not.  Of course that is the right thing now, just like it was then.  The problem now, is that our plates are larger, our portion sizes are larger, our food is less natural and more loaded with sugar, salt and other preservatives.  We are eating ourselves to death to avoid waste!

When I first started changing my lifestyle, I left food on my plate at restaurants and even at home.  Even though doggie bags and Tupperware are options, it was physically painful for me to leave the food there. Like Pavlov’s pooch salivating at the bell, I felt physically ill when I went against my dinnertime conditioning.  It’s STILL a struggle and perhaps the source of my compulsion to finish off any open bag of Cheetos.  The thing is: it is essential to get over this false stress response.  I’ve gone back to eating all the food I’m served in a restaurant.  Even if my meal is a salad with no dressing, too much food is still too much food. In the lifestyle change, I halved my food immediately when it was served.  I ate half and brought the other half home.  I MUST return to that habit.  Otherwise, my stomach again looks for massive amounts of food to feel full.  The overeating cycle is re-enforced.

The truth that we know is that we all eat too much.  No one can break that habit but us.  We have to have a Nancy Reagan moment and “just say no” – no quart of salad, no 16 ounce steak, no Man vs Food (in my opinion one of the most disgusting displays of excess on television).  We can bring it home.  If not, the world won’t stop spinning if we just leave it at the restaurant sometimes.

Yes, we are morally bound to help the starving in Haiti, in Africa, and in our own communities (there are far more of them than we think); but, giving ourselves obesity induced heart-attacks and strokes just ain’t the way to do it.

Food, Habits

Adult Supervision Required in Aisle Two

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I have a confession that’s a little embarrassing.  I’m 45 years old and I can’t be trusted with a box of Girl Scout cookies.

Homemade brownie bites
My homemade brownie bites

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I’m an emotional eater.  As it happens, I’m also a little compulsive about some things – like finishing things.  And by things, I mean boxes of cookies, containers of ice cream, bags of chips more than I mean household chores.

My son doesn’t have these food issues and for that, I am profoundly grateful.  He can take a bite or two out of a candy bar and walk away from it.  That amazes me.  I am compelled to eat the whole thing, then look for more.  I don’t know if that’s a compulsion or a sugar addiction.  In any case, don’t ask to share my Lion bar.  It’s not going to work out for you.

In my profile, I say that I’m a non-smoking smoker.  I see myself that way because, although I quit smoking six or so years ago, I smoked for the better part of 20 years.  On a really stressful day, I still feel like I could eat an entire pack – aluminum foil and all.  However, I choose not to and I make that choice every day.  If you’ve done it, you know that quitting smoking is no walk in the park.  The thing is, though, you don’t have to smoke to live.

You do have to eat to live.  Changing portion sizes, food selections and cooking methods are all well and good.  But temptation is still EVERYwhere.  I choose not to smoke; so, I can avoid smokey places, cigarette stores, situations where I once would have smoked.  I can’t avoid food.  And, c’mon, have you seen the snack aisle?!  Plus, my dieting doesn’t mean that my son should never have treats.  So, what to do?

In theory, I should be able to just NOT eat those cookies.  Um, yeah.  In reality, I swear they talk to me. “Eat me!  I’m right on top of the refrigerator.  Look up!”  As long as the bag is open, I hear them.  Ugh.  I’m fairly certain that I’m not the only adult who cannot walk past an open bag of snack mix.

The obvious solution is to stay completely away from temptation.  To do that, I’d never walk into a convenient store, Starbucks, or grocery store again.  Clearly, that isn’t an option.  I CAN just abstain from buying any treats.  Ever. For the rest of my life. Again, um, yeah.

The best snack solution is to keep lots of fruit, string cheese, yogurt, nuts and other healthful choices around.  And I do that.  I also keep 85% dark chocolate in the freezer and unbuttered popcorn in the cabinet.

However, I want to be able to enjoy ice cream, chips, cookies and the rest from time to time.  For those snacks, I’ve found a pretty workable solution. I buy single servings and I give away most of what I bake.

Skinny Cow, Edy’s, Ben & Jerry’s, and Haagen Dazs all make single serving containers (and, no, I’m not talking about pints).  We’ve all seen single serving chip bags as well as cookies at the deli.  Skinny Cow also makes low-calorie, single serve chocolate candies.  The cost per serving for treats packaged this way is higher, sure.  However, my largest concern with the snack issue isn’t my wallet as much as it is the size of the pants that wallet is in.