ow, Ow, oW, OW! OWW!!!

I am actually as sore as I had predicted. Muscles I had forgotten about are SCREAMING at me today. My calves are so tight that I question every step. “Okay, so I have to use the restroom; but, do I have to use it badly enough?”

Instead of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, today we have Her Dotyness’s hierarchy of whines. It’s all about degrees of need or desire for me today.  Am I hungry enough to brave the walk to the kitchen? Just how badly do I want that next cup of coffee? While my internal conversation is pretty comical today, I think that the question of degrees applies more frequently than just when my calves are sore.  I say I want something, but how badly do I really want it?

I’ve been lamenting my poor choices and execution.  If say I want to lose these pounds, then I have to prove it.  I have to want it badly enough to make better choices and to keep my exercise appointments.  If I don’t do those things, then I must not want that weight loss badly enough.

This week, my choices have been better – I had the fruit cup instead of the muffin, the grande latte instead of the venti.  I started kickboxing again. My head trash level is lower. I feel like my clothes fit a little better.  Maybe they do, maybe I just think they do.  If perception is reality in terms of customer service, then I say it should be reality in terms of self conversation, as well. Whatever the case, it’s a positive week loaded with positive energy and progress.

So, even now, as I categorize the threat level of my bladder alarm, I know that come tomorrow morning, calves screaming or not, I will be in class, sweating, talking myself through just one more push up. Because, in terms of degrees, I want it badly enough.