Birthday Girl

Farmers' market basketToday, I declare that I am two.

Two years ago, I woke up to the fact that I was killing myself with food and I decided to change my lifestyle.  If I said that it has been easy, I’d be lying through my teeth (or fingertips) and everybody knows that it’s just plain, old, bad form for a Birthday Girl to lie; so, I’m not gonna.  It has been a challenge; but, not an impossible one.  And it gets easier!

I started to say that the changes have been difficult to make; but, then, I thought of a young man I saw at the gym today.  Let me tell you about this young man.  He was a normal teen-ager, once.  Riding his bike one day, he was hit by a car.  Now, I don’t know what the extent of his injuries was; I know only what I saw yesterday.  But that leads me to believe that the words “extensive” and “life-threatening” were used a lot when he was first injured.  Anyway, this young man was working with a trainer who was encouraging and instructing him.  And the young man was walking across the floor.  This young man who had been told that that he would never walk again was walking. It was clearly a struggle for him; but, he did it.  I wanted to cheer for him!  What courage!  What spirit!

What shame I felt for taking my own health and physical ability for granted.

Yes, my knee hurts.  Big deal.  I can walk.  Sometimes I think about all those times I sat on the sofa doing nothing but getting fatter and I feel truly ashamed.  I limit that kind of thinking because it changes nothing and, on that road, there be dragons.

Two years ago, I decided to stop looking back at lots of things.  I decided to loosen the bars of the prison I built for myself.  I lost a lot of weight, gained a little back, forgave myself for that and am effecting the solution.  It’s been two years of tremendous personal growth, some good-sized pain, several challenges, a few sweet victories and massive changes. In other words, it’s been life!

I’ve still got that life.  I see it for the gift that it is and I treasure it more completely.  To celebrate and to set the tone for my third year, I’m going to buy myself some flowers and hit the driving range with a friend before sharing dinner and stories.

Happy birthday to me!


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