I Think I Can (Don’t I?)

You know how some days are just a half a bubble off plumb? Yep.  Yesterday.

I knew the day was suspect when Rush’s Tom Sawyer came on the radio right when I got to the office and was getting out of the car.  That’s one of my favorite songs and to hear it while I was driving to work would have heralded a good day.  But, that didn’t happen.  The song played right after I got to work.  It played five minutes late.  (Oh, stop it.  You know you’ve thought that same thing at some point.  You might have been 16 when you did it; but, you’ve done it.)

The day wasn’t exactly bad; but, through it, I experienced a special appreciation that time moves only in one direction, you know what I mean?

You see, my son leaves in less than a week to return to college.  This is the way of things and how they should be – that children grow up and leave home.  I’m beyond thrilled that he is strong enough to leave and venture off to the other side of the country – after all, he’s got to educate himself and get a job so that he can afford good home for me in my old age.  Just so you know: I don’t want a cheap one, either.  Regardless, he is my heart and I miss him when he’s not here.  Last Autumn was all kinds of ugly when I left him at school.  I expect this time won’t be as bad, but, I won’t be taking any snapshots to commemorate. I started thinking about his departure this morning.  Tears were shed.  The day’s mood was ruined.

And then I missed hearing Tom Sawyer.

I allowed those two events – neither of them major in the scheme of things – to affect my mood in a profound way.  In speaking with people throughout the day, they would say, “you can (insert solution to whatever it was we were talking about)”  My immediate, internal response was to think of a bunch of reasons why I can’t.  Well, that’s no good.  If I allow myself to be distracted with Can’ts, I’m doomed.  If I’m not my best cheerleader, I’m really in trouble.

Let’s face it, there are those around us who would like nothing more than to tear us down.  They offer nothing positive.  They throw rocks.  They don’t offer any solutions.  As Alfred said to Bruce Wayne, “Some men just want to watch the world burn.”  My job is two-fold: 1. that I don’t allow them to destroy me, and 2. that I don’t become one of them – not to others, not to myself.

As I dealt with my First World problems yesterday, I struggled.  I struggled, not to win, but to just make it across the finish line.  Today is a different day, though.  Today, I’ll shoot for the win.

Because I truly do think I can.

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2 thoughts on “I Think I Can (Don’t I?)

  1. Reason: because your sister and cousin left you and took their plethora of baggage with them! You missed having our fun selves to look forward to seeing at the end if your day ! 😘

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