I’m late publishing today and I’m not going to write on healthier meat choices as I had planned. Yesterday was a ridiculous day for me and I’m going to share some of it with you. I hadn’t originally thought that I would since I claim that whole Positive Thinking Blog Goddess thing and it was really not a positive day; however, after talking with my aunt Judy (remember her?) I changed my mind.
As you know, I’ve been under a great deal of stress lately – personally and professionally – and I don’t seem to be able to find effective relief for either sector. Clearly, I’ve never been a boxer; but, I feel like if I lean left to dodge a punch to the right, I run into a fist from the left. If I lean right, I hit a fist from that direction. I don’t feel like I recover my equilibrium from the right hook before I’m hit with a left uppercut. For weeks now, I’ve been reeling. Yesterday, I caught another jab to the mid-section.
My son called to report that someone had broken into his truck. They stole his backpack containing all of his class notes and a calculator. The monetary value of what they stole was maybe ten bucks. The cost to my son was far greater in that those notes represented hours of class time and he cannot get those back. The cost to me is that now I have to pay to replace the broken window. At this point in my life and career, the cost of that repair will mean more sacrifices in some other area. It’s not something I have just sitting around.
And I’m angry about that.
I’m angry that people take things that don’t belong to them. I’m angry that someone totaled my car in my own driveway in March and left. I’m angry that people don’t take responsibility for themselves and for their actions. I’m angry that those of us who strive every day to be good people and to leave situations better than we found them get nailed. I’m angry that I now have to figure out how to fix the damage some %$#(*&^ caused.
I’m angry and I’m tired.
When I spoke with Judy about this yesterday, she said that she enjoys reading the blog because she feels like it’s our morning cup of tea together. She also said that she enjoys it because of its authenticity. (Well, to a degree. In person, I often have a potty mouth. Out of respect for you, I clean it up here.) She enjoys it because it reminds her that she’s not alone in her victories and celebrations, and it reminds her that she’s not alone in her struggles, her frustrations or her defeats. Your comments remind me of the same things.
So, today, as I struggle to deal with this most recently landed punch, I share that struggle with you. I am trying to remain positive even while I’m angry that, once again, the best thing I can say about the situation is that, “It’s not as bad as it might have been.”