Last night I wore a long-sleeved Mississippi State t-shirt that I’ve had for several years – since just after Katrina, in fact, when my friends Angie and Mike gave it to me. It’s a size Large and when they sent it, it was too small; but, I didn’t have the heart to tell them. I kept it but didn’t really expect to ever wear it.
Fast forward seven years. The t-shirt that was too tight now engulfs me.
I still have some pajamas and a few other t-shirts that I had before. When I put them on, it stuns me that these articles of clothing that are now WAY too big, were too small. I knew I was overweight; but, the reality is, I had no clue how big I was. I knew that I had to turn sideways to sit down in the seats at the hockey game, but that still didn’t illustrate it for me. Sitting in the bathtub, my hips touched both sides of the tub….thoroughly. Now, I can plop into a seat at the arena and I can just right out of it when the need arises (which is often the case. Refs are just blind, dontcha know.) And, when I sit in the tub, neither hip touches the side of the tub. Because I remember the feeling of before (even if I didn’t really have a visual idea of my size), those tactile experiences really emphasize the differences in my body.
And it’s pretty fantastic, I must say.
I’m sure that the time will come when I don’t notice things like that anymore. I’ll get used to this body eventually. However, right now, I’m still close enough to the memory of before to celebrate the reality of now.