Last Thursday morning after work, I wrote Grief-eater. Then, I wrote It’s Easy to Feel Your Pain. That piece had been banging around inside my head for several days and I needed to get it out. Now, in Grief-eater, I talked about having good food choices on-hand to get through the times of stress eating. I kinda congratulated myself on doing so well thus far. Then I wrote the other piece.
And I promptly ate four candy bars.
In a row.
Within fifteen minutes.
And they were frozen.
The second piece was very hard to write down – not the words, they seemed to come on their own, but the feelings were very difficult to put out there. That was an incredibly difficult time for me and to relive it was no picnic, either. Or, maybe it was a picnic and the only thing on the menu was Lion bars.
Then, there was the weekend….and the funeral.
In spite of having lived in other areas of the country, I’m a Southern woman. I don’t know how y’all do it out West or in the North; but, in the South, we eat at funerals. We eat a lot. And at Leah’s funeral, we ate…a lot. Over the course of the weekend, I ate more meat than I’ve eaten in months – more cake, more pie, more bread…well, just more. And you know what? I’m okay with that. (Well, mentally, I’m okay with it. Physically, I feel greasy, bloated and yick.)
Today is a new day and I am back in my groove, eating healthfully. For me, that means lots and lots of vegetables, a good amount of fruit, little to no dairy and very little animal protein. For me to feel my best, that’s my menu.
At the funeral, we talked about how Leah had taken care of herself. She ate good things. She took an aspirin a day, all that kind of thing. But, you can’t guard against everything. A roving clot killed her. But, here’s the thing: she was in good shape and took care of herself. She was able to enjoy her life right up to the very end. As a matter of fact, she was packing her car to go on a trip when she had the stroke that killed her! She was living, I tell ya!
That’s the whole point of making healthful dietary and exercise choices! It’s not about living forever. It’s about being able to enjoy the time I have.
And enjoying that time means that sometimes I have a plateful of barbecue with friends and family, laughing and remembering that time when…..