It’s a beautiful song, but often a terrible thing to do. Today, I will say good-bye to Trey. While I am destroyed over it, it’s time. He has stopped eating and drinking more than a couple of mouthsful – except for last night when he got a plain double cheeseburger and cheese curds from Dairy Queen. (We’re not going to discuss what I had.) He doesn’t wag his tail and the sparkle is gone from his sweet eyes. Even with medication he is in constant pain.
My tireless sister has found a vet that will come to my house this afternoon. Trey will be in his home, comfortable and unafraid when he makes his journey across the rainbow bridge. My friend Sean and my niece will be here with me. My niece will take his body for cremation. I know. I know. I used to think that was ridiculous, too – cremating a pet. I don’t anymore and, frankly, I don’t care if anyone else still does. I’ve lived a highly transient life and don’t see me staying here forever either. I don’t want to leave him here. Maybe if I were living in the house I planned to retire in, I’d feel differently; but, I’m not and I don’t.
It’s been a highly emotional couple of days for me and there have been several times when I’ve wondered if I could actually dehydrate by crying. There have been times when a tiny voice in my head called me silly for grieving so over a dog; but, another voice stands up and says that he’s more than a dog – he’s a friend. My other dog Ellie is not the brightest bulb on the circuit – beautiful, sweet and lethal for squirrels, but not all that smart. She doesn’t seem to know that anything is wrong; however, she will grieve for the loss of her playmate, the one who taught her to play when she was a terrified stray. Although I will let her see and smell his body, I expect her to look for him for awhile. At this point, only the cat Bodhi seems to know something is wrong. He’s stuck very close to me and has even been snuggly with Trey.
It has been emotional here and will continue to be for awhile yet as we learn to adjust to life without the old man.
So, remember yesterday when I said that I wouldn’t always make the right nutritional choice? Well, I won’t be making it this afternoon. My sweet friend Katie has already announced that she’s coming by after work with the comfort food of my choice – ice cream, any flavor but mint chocolate chip (I really hate that one). So, I don’t know what flavor she’s bringing and I don’t care. I’m going to eat whatever she brings.
Helping my old friend across the bridge is the right thing to do and it’s time; but, I don’t know that I could do it without the help of my other friends. My most sincere and heartbroken thanks to you all.
7 thoughts on “Time to Say Good-Bye”
I’m so sorry, Jon Anne. It’s definitely a tough thing to do but also the right thing. I’m glad that you have a vet coming to your home to take care of things. I’ve done that, too, and can tell you that it helped me to be able to have my pet there and grieve the way I needed to without making a public scene. Take care!
Thanks, Cheri. I’m not a big fan of crying in public, particularly when it’s as ugly as cry as this one has been and promises to be. I am so thankful the vet offers this service so that Trey can be in a place he knows, surrounded by the other animals in his horde. Yesterday, he got to eat people food (his favorite thing), then get wet having a bath (his second favorite thing). Today, we’ll have a fire in the fireplace – another of his favorite things. It’s wonderful that I don’t have introduce fear into his last day.
I am so sorry for you. We went through something almost identical a couple of years ago. But those final moments with her and the vet there, so loving, and all the family gathered round, stroking her as she was given the injection. It was a beautiful moment, strangely, sadly. I’m glad her ending happened like that, and not all by herself with no one around. Sending prayers your way.
Thank you so much.
Please don’t underestimate the power of allowing the other animals to say goodbye. Unexpectedly we had to put a horse to sleep and due to logistics, the body laid in the pasture for several hours until a backhoe arrived. The 10 other horse each made a point of touching her and after she was buried in the pasture they stood by the grave that evening for several hours. It was a touching and peaceful scene that I will never forget. May you soon find peace in doing the right thing.
Thanks for your kind words, Lisa! Ellie paced for days when Trey was away for surgery. Last night, she did not. She is normally a little spastic, but has been unusually calm. She knows and is grieving, as well. We miss him already, but I know that we will find our way in this new normal….later.