AMC’s “Breaking Bad” is one of my favorite shows.  I love the character development. While Flynn has cerebral palsy, it’s not a Thing – it’s just part of him.  It describes him, but doesn’t define him.  Neither Walter nor Jesse are all good or all bad; but, at any given time, you might want to hug or throttle either of them.  Marie’s favorite color is purple.  It’s unnecessary information and they never make a big deal about it.  But, because she surrounds herself with purple things, we get it.  The tidbit makes her more relatable.  The writing is really good and I love that the characters feel real and that they evolve.

Last night, I caught up on season five and was struck anew at how Walter has changed from a desperate man who just wanted to take care of his family to this… well, I won’t say.  I don’t want to spoil it for you.  I will say that old Walt has far more on his mind now than just a legacy.  He has evolved from a doormat to the poster child for megalomania.

“Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.” – Abraham Lincoln

Walt performs poorly in the Lincoln test.

How does that relate to weight loss, positive thinking, attitude adjustments and healthful living?  I’m not really sure.  I’m just thinking about the show and jonesing for next season.  (Plus I over-analyze absolutely everything and make connections between apparently dissociated things.) I think it’s the devolution that fascinates me.  Most of the characters actually devolve more than they evolve; but, they do it so slowly that they don’t even realize it.

That was how I found myself in the midst of The Great Regain.  I wasn’t paying attention.  I used ego-driven excuses to allow myself to revert to bad habits. I lied to myself about what I was doing and, voila! There were 30 pounds.  As my friend David says, “Automagically.”

I talk a lot about focus and awareness.  Of course, I didn’t sit down and make a list of goals that included gaining weight. I lost focus, was unaware and achieved the unwritten goal.  How does it go? If you fail to plan, you plan to fail? Pithy saying, that, but true nevertheless. I failed to plan for a maintenance strategy.  I failed to plan for times of professional and spiritual challenge.  So, I failed to keep all of the weight off.

My slide was slow, slower than Walt’s, for sure, and not nearly as dramatic.  I’m not going from chemistry teacher to meth kingpin.  Seriously, I was terrible at chemistry! But I did go from the best shape of my life to a little hippy.  Thankfully, I became aware of the slide before I was all the way back at zaftig (what a great word!). I’m much more conscientious now and struggling to stay that way.  You all help more than you know.  Thanks!

Oh, and my favorite color is yellow.