I’ve been angry and pouting with nothing positive to say; so, I’ve been quiet.
Remember last month when I differentiated between incompatibility and failure? Or maybe at the first of this month when I talked about acknowledging, accepting and solving? I believed all of that when I wrote it and, in my brain, I still do. The big problem with that whole thought process is that the brain, the logical brain, is not the only thing involved. The emotional brain is also in the process and my emotional brain has been telling me that I’m full of it for the last couple of weeks.
For the umpteenth time (it seems) I’m back at square one. I’m disheartened, frustrated and angry about it. I’ve always tried to teach my son to work hard and to play fair. My emotional brain still believes that; however, my logical brain is questioning all of that in a big way. I’ve watched people who are incompetent and lazy – but who are great at selling themselves (and abilities they don’t have) – be promoted where the talented worker bees get stuck. I’ve watched the unethical rise to the top while the ethical are either stuck or released.
I wonder if I’ve done my son a disservice – as far as professional success goes, anyway.
For years, I have worked hard, given my best efforts to make the whole enterprise successful. I’ve watched the self-serving and parasitic cash larger checks and receive promotions all while the people giving the most are patted on their heads and sent on their way. (See? I told you I was angry.) This is not how the wheels came off this time, but it’s happened before. This latest nightmare has just rekindled anger from past injustices.
That’s how it often is, I think. Life punches me in the throat and I get angry – about that punch and about ones I thought I wasn’t angry about anymore. Clearly, I am.
I know that I’m not the only one struggling with anger, disappointment and the depression (and bad food cravings) that always ride shotgun. I’m trying very hard to reestablish a solution-oriented attitude.
I could use any tips you guys have to offer.