Scattershot Goddess

I haven’t published for a few days (as I hope you’ve noticed). There are a few reasons for this, the primary one being that I’m working a holiday schedule right now and am just worn slap out! By the time I get home in the mornings, I have barely enough energy to brush my teeth and go to bed, much less to sit down and write! The secondary reason is that I have several things on my mind and I’m waiting for those things to gel. Some of them, I’m deciding if they are appropriate for us to talk about at all. I’ll start with ones I know are appropriate.

Here’s the first thing on my mind: the blog, itself.

When I look at other blogs, they seem to have these nice, neat little themes they stay with. It makes for a somewhat predictable package and makes the author an authority on that one subject. I, on the other hand, am I little bit all over the place.

As you know, the blog started as a way for me to share how I lost weight. However, I often venture into the realm of emotions and thought patterns. That’s because, for me anyway, those two things (food and emotions) are inextricably linked and always have been.

I’ve told you before that I am an emotional binge eater. I’m a bulimic without the purging stage. I have been known to scarf down literally thousands of calories in one sitting. This, of course, leads to self-loathing, which leads to more bingeing, which leads to more self-loathing, which leads to …. an obese woman. My failure to acknowledge and to deal with this cycle is why all my previous diets failed and why only a complete lifestyle change would work to make me lose weight and keep it off.

I know people for whom the loss of five pounds of holiday excess is the extent of their weight loss battle – and I continue to both speak with and associate with them! But, I know far more people for whom five pounds is an afternoon snack. Those are the people with whom I can truly relate. For them, as for me, eating has an emotional component that is far larger than the stomach one. These are my people. These are the ones I understand.

So, if you ever read a week’s worth of blogs and see that I don’t appear to be holding to the weight-loss, healthy eating theme you thought the blog had, it’s because I’m really not. Or, maybe I am in a holistic sense. I just don’t see how we can separate our food intake from the other things going on in our lives and in our world, particularly if we are emotional eaters.

And, if you think I’ve been inconsistent before, hold onto your hat because I’m really going to be all over the place this week!


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