T Minus 54


So, I went to the doctor yesterday for an ongoing issue with my sinuses – I swear! I feel like Kaa “Ahhhh, my sssssssinussssssss!” Anyway, the nurse did the weigh in, you know, like they do, and I’ve lost three pounds this week. 🙂

I put the little smiley face there, but I’m not going to lie: I was totally hoping for a loss of about ten pounds; so, in spite of real progress, I find myself a little bummed.

How silly is that?!

I say it all the time: baby steps in the right direction are still progress. And, three pounds is a toddler step, at least! Those old negative recordings in my mind are up and at it again – “Yeah, you did it; but, any fool can see you could have done more.” Seriously, I need a mute button for that voice. Why do I do that to myself? Am I the only one here doing that garbage? The packed shelves in the self-help section tell me I’m not.

I saw a counselor many years ago who had me do exercises in giving myself the credit I was due – not taking anything that didn’t belong to me, mind you. He didn’t want me to sugar coat anything, but didn’t want me to poop coat it either. The exercises were born after he asked me if I had finished college. I replied something like, “Yes, but my grades weren’t very good.” Now, my counselor was a great big hippie of a man who said, “Stop right there.” He proceeded to tell me that graduating was an accomplishment of which I should be proud. I am not required to classify my graduation as being something Less Than because I didn’t have the GPA that someone else thought I should have or that perhaps my IQ even said I should have. I didn’t get kicked out and I finished. That’s an accomplishment. It’s valid and it’s mine.

Yet, the bully in my head wants to take my accomplishments. Every. Stinking. Time. It’s funny, I don’t stand for that kind of behavior from bullies outside my head – those I’ll go toe to toe with; but, the one inside my head? I let her push me around all the time. In addition to exercising my will power and my body, I’m going to have to exercise telling her just where to step off.

Any progress is still progress. This week, I lost three pounds. That’s an accomplishment. It’s valid and it’s mine. I’ve got liftoff on The Great Reduction Redux and no one is allowed to take that away from me – not even I am!



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