Oooo! You a Lie!

I went to 6th grade with this kid named Walter. Anytime Walter heard another kid say something untrue or that he just didn’t like, he’d cover his mouth with one skinny little hand, point the other one and say, “Oooo! You a lie!” Walter was all inside my head when I saw Dr. Allie on the 15th.

The good doctor asked the same questions that all good doctors do:

  • Do you drink alcohol?
  • Do you smoke?
  • Do you use recreational drugs?
  • Do you exercise?

So I answered truthfully:

  • Barely
  • Not anymore
  • No
  • Um….well, see…I walk a lot at work and, um….

Yeah. Like he looked at the 57 pound weight gain and believed that for a millisecond. Really? Why do they even ask? Do you see my butt oozing over the sides of this chair? Do I look like I exercise?

During the course of our conversation I mentioned swimming. “Oh, you like to swim?” he asked. I said that I did and that swimming and running are as close as I can get to meditation. I have run only once since my knee surgery, though. Somewhere along the path of this conversation, I agreed to participate in a 5K on March 19 in which he, his dog and many of his weight loss patients are running.

Well, alrighty then. I guess I have to start getting ready for that, huh? As it happens, I started yesterday.

My sister (who lives with me and who also works night shift) was sleeping. So as not to disturb her (or eat all day or go back to sleep myself) I left the house and went knocking around town for a bit. I drank some decaf, went to a bookstore, wrote some letters, but then I got bored. It was at this point that I remembered that I still had a gym bag in my car; so, I headed to the gym. (Just so you don’t think this exercise stuff was premeditated.)

I walked 20 minutes at 3.5mph and ran ten minutes at 5.1mph. The running was sprinkled throughout the walking. Then I had that five minute cool-down walk. It was really great! I got a little frustrated that my heart and lungs didn’t let me just run the whole time. I love that feeling! While I hate the feeling when I first start sweating, I like feeling my muscles work and respond when I call on them for something.

Today I listened to music while I ran on the treadmill. I don’t normally do that, but it was good today. Usually, I count. I count three footfalls while I’m breathing in and three footfalls while I’m breathing out. If I don’t, I sometimes end up unconsciously holding my breath, which of course leads to just unconsciousness all the way around. It also reduces muscle performance as they are gasping for oxygen. I can walk and chew gum at the same time; but, I can’t really count and listen to music at the same time. So the tunes don’t make the cut.

pinnochio walkingI think I’ve mentioned before  that I have all the athletic grace of a hippo with ingrown toenails. So, I was very pleased today that I didn’t end up a pile in the floor from hyperventilation, from apoplexy, or from just tripping over my own feet. Because of that, I count it as a successful workout and I really did have some fun while I was doing it.

No lie!


One thought on “Oooo! You a Lie!”

  1. So – the three count breathing is the optimal breathing noted for running. However, I STRUGGLE with it – I think my left-brained person is stuck on the rhythm of the even four in-four out LOL. Glad you’re getting there – trying to do that myself. I have a similar amount of weight I want to lose and it just gets hard to do so every year. I believe in working to get results and not taking the easy way out so I am loving your posts and feeling every ounce of your struggle.

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