All posts by dotyness

I'm a mother, a hockey fan, a photographer, a sugar and nicotine addict, a non-smoking smoker, a struggler, a connoisseur of the absurd, a reader, a traveler, a writer, a student of light and shadow, a foodie, a daughter, a sister, a friend, and a crazy cat lady. I talk to myself more than I care to admit and perhaps even more than is healthy. I'm in a time of great change and turmoil so now I'm talking to you as well as to myself.

What You Need Is A Gas-Guzzler

Last week, we talked about how  the body processes calories differently depending on the source of the fuel. Just as calories are different, so is the rate at which they are burned by different types of tissue. The rate at which our bodies burn fuel is called the basal metabolic rate.

When a non-obese person under 50 is at rest, the heart and kidneys burn the most fuel.  Then comes the brain, the liver, skeletal muscle, the rest of the body’s functions and. finally, adipose tissue. (If you want to see the study and can understand the hieroglyphics, check it out here.) Did you know what was dead last on that list?  Yep, adipose tissue – our old nemesis, FAT.  According to this study, muscle tissue requires nearly three times the energy to function than fat does.  It burns three times the number of calories. It’s a gas guzzler.

Well, sign me up! Right?

We’ve all heard this before and it’s why people recommend weight-lifting and strength training as part of a weight loss program. When we lift weights, we are activating those muscle cells making them burn more energy.  In addition, every time we lift, we damage our muscles the tiniest bit.  Our bodies have to repair that damage, using even more energy, making the muscles stronger. Now, ladies, I know that most of us are not wanting to look in the mirror and see L.L. Cool J’s body (across the room, maybe, but not in the mirror.) Lifting weights isn’t going to turn us into muscle-bound men. We will not sprout chest hair or a full beard. Our sex drives may increase, but, I’m pretty sure our partners won’t be complaining about that; so, that one’s a win all the way around.

According to the Mayo Clinic, we increase our metabolic rates by regular aerobic exercise, strength training and lifestyle activities. That means we need to regularly engage in something that gets our heart rates up and makes us breathe hard (I know that you’re back with L.L. Cool J. Stop it.). We need to do some weight lifting and we need to change our lifestyles to move more.  Any additional movement is good for us. Park further from the door. Take the stairs. Take our shopping carts all the way back in the store. Although there are many factors that determine our basal metabolic rates, those little things add up.

SONY DSCI would not suggest that we all run out and buy a giant weight set and start pumping iron.  I’ve recommended this before and I’ll do it again: this is one place where a personal trainer is really what you need. These people can teach you lift effectively and properly so that you achieve the best results with the least amount of injury.  Remember – that’s what they do. That’s their area of expertise. If you cannot afford regular sessions with a trainer, then book just one, explain your situation and ask them to design a plan for you.  In about six weeks, your muscles will be yawning at that routine and you’ll need another.  Have another session with a trainer.

I’ll admit, time with a trainer isn’t cheap, but the money is probably there in the budget. Take it out of drive-thrus, cigarettes, alcohol, or doctor co-payments.  After all, when we eat right and exercise, we don’t darken the doctor’s office door nearly as frequently!

As we age, our bodies slow down, making weight loss and fitness an even greater challenge. We need every little edge we can get and this one is an easy one to get.

Let’s get lifting and turn our bodies into gas guzzlers!

Cooking For One

Twice last week, I was talking to people who strive to eat healthfully; but, they get stuck because they are cooking for one.  How do you cook for one, eat well and not eat the same thing a million days in a row?

freezer suppliesOne word – freezer.

Once every month to six weeks, I take a day and cook  entrées.  I did this on Sunday. I boiled a chicken, used the broth for butternut squash soup (that is also fantastic as a sauce for ravioli). I used some of the broth and some chicken for white chilli, the rest I divided into single servings.  In fact, I divided everything into single servings and put them in the freezer along with the chicken breasts that I baked. In the mornings, I can remove whatever I want for dinner and put it in the refrigerator to thaw.  In the evenings, while I am warming whatever the entrée is, I can steam some vegetables to go along with it and voila! A healthful dinner that didn’t take hours to fix.

This Sunday, I seasoned all of the chicken breasts with Montreal steak seasoning (it’s not just for steak anymore, dontcha know). Often, though, I cook each piece separately, wrapped in foil and seasoned differently.  I like to use the steak seasoning, Tony Chachere’s Cajun seasoning, Italian dressing, ginger dressing, onions, teriyaki, or stone ground mustard.  I use a lot of those same seasonings when I cook a pork loin that I’ve divided into portions with two servings each. For pork, I also like to use applesauce. Once the meat is cool, I just put the foil wrapped entrée inside a plastic bag, marking on the bag what’s inside and into the freezer it goes.

You can do this with most meats, although I would suggest cooking them until they are just done before freezing them. If they are overdone, they will dry out and be like shoe leather when you go to warm them up. Pot roast is great this way. I brown ground meats and put them in the freezer for easy additions to salads, tacos, eggs, or rice.  I season the ground meat with Italian seasonings, chili seasonings, or just a lot of garlic.  Again, I note on the outside of the plastic bag how it’s seasoned.

If you cook a few different things on that one day, you’ve got choices at hand every day; but, you’re not eating the same thing night after night.  And, really, how much harder is it to cook five chicken breasts than it is to cook one?

With the things I cooked on Sunday, I’ve had white chili with rice and a green salad. I also had a green salad with chopped chicken. Then there was the butternut squash soup with a side of rutabagas and green beans. Tomorrow night will be baked chicken with asparagus and roasted carrots. There are all kinds of options here to keep my diet varied and healthful.  It just took a little planning.

Flat Spins

flat_inverted_spinWhen an aircraft enters a flat spin, the pilot is often crippled by the centrifugal forces created by the spin and unable to eject, parachuting to safety.  In the early days of aviation, many pilots died before Lt. Willfred Parke became the first aviator to recover from such a spin.

How often do we find ourselves in emotional flat spins?  Today, I spoke with a friend who is in one.  In his eyes, he has let everyone down.  Every minor failure is a major issue.  Everything he touches is ruined. His world is spinning out of control and he is crippled by the force of it.  He cannot reach his ejection button.

Good thing other people can.

I have eight friends, family members and acquaintances who have committed suicide. Eight. Those are eight beautiful souls who could not reach their ejection buttons. They left behind scores of mourners who, if they had but known, would have happily pushed that button, allowing for escape.

I am a month late. September was Suicide Prevention Awareness Month in Tennessee where an estimated 900 men, women and children commit suicide each year. That’s more deaths than by AIDS, homicide, drunk driving or any traffic death.  But we don’t talk about it.

We need to.

Serial killers are always described as “such nice, quiet neighbors,” aren’t they? Suicide victims are often described as “so happy.” We must all look around, be vigilant and ready to help.  Don’t think that anyone you know would kill themselves? Neither did I.  But, in a completely inappropriate application of a Monty Python quote, “No one ever expects the Spanish Inquisition.”

In 2006, British comedian Stephen Fry responded to a viewer’s plea for help with her depression in a particularly moving letter:

Dear Crystal,

I’m so sorry to hear that life is getting you down at the moment. Goodness knows, it can be so tough when nothing seems to fit and little seems to be fulfilling. I’m not sure there’s any specific advice I can give that will help bring life back its savour. Although they mean well, it’s sometimes quite galling to be reminded how much people love you when you don’t love yourself that much.

I’ve found that it’s of some help to think of one’s moods and feelings about the world as being similar to weather:

Here are some obvious things about the weather:

It’s real.
You can’t change it by wishing it away.
If it’s dark and rainy it really is dark and rainy and you can’t alter it.
It might be dark and rainy for two weeks in a row.

BUT

It will be sunny one day.
It isn’t under one’s control as to when the sun comes out, but come out it will.
One day.

It really is the same with one’s moods, I think. The wrong approach is to believe that they are illusions. They are real. Depression, anxiety, listlessness – these are as real as the weather – AND EQUALLY NOT UNDER ONE’s CONTROL. Not one’s fault.

BUT

They will pass: they really will.

In the same way that one has to accept the weather, so one has to accept how one feels about life sometimes.

‘Today’s a crap day,’ is a perfectly realistic approach. It’s all about finding a kind of mental umbrella.

‘Hey-ho, it’s raining inside: it isn’t my fault and there’s nothing I can do about it, but sit it out. But the sun may well come out tomorrow and when it does, I shall take full advantage.’

I don’t know if any of that is of any use: it may not seem it, and if so, I’m sorry. I just thought I’d drop you a line to wish you well in your search to find a little more pleasure and purpose in life.

Very best wishes
(Signed)
Stephen Fry

So, whether it’s a flat spin or rain, may we always be alert to help those struggling; and, if we’re struggling, may we always be strong enough to reach for help.

Dining Out – A Refresher Course

On Saturday, a friend and I went on a four mile Heartsore Hike. (Okay, it was on a paved trail and not really a hike, but Heartsore Walk doesn’t have the same ring to it.) Both of us are struggling through some things and decided that motion was a good way to deal with it.  The walk was fantastic and we were both in better spirits afterwards; so, we headed out to Mimi’s Cafe for lunch.

mimis breakfastI haven’t been to Mimi’s in over two years and was really looking forward it. I ordered an Omelette Basquaise – substituting fresh cut fruit for provençal potatoes and a buttermilk spice muffin for toast.  I ate all the fruit, but half of everything else. The food was as savory as I remember.  It was tough to do, but I ate slowly and was careful to consume only half plus a slice of that carrot bread they bring out. I mean, seriously. Have you tasted that?! I could climb in a bin of it and eat my way out! Anyway, since we were talking over our meal, I didn’t check loseit.com for nutritional information and I didn’t think to ask for a chart.

Big mistake.

When I got home, I put everything into my food diary.  Because I don’t know how many ounces were in the carrot bread slice, I estimated that item.  My estimate put my meal at 975 calories – and that’s just the portion I ate!

Had I ordered the potatoes instead of the fruit, eaten my whole omelette, the carrot bread and the whole muffin, my meal would have chalked up a huge 1880 calories.  That’s more than my entire daily allotment! Mimi’s has lighter options I could have chosen.  Had I done the smart thing and asked for the chart prior to ordering, I would have had a much healthier meal.

At present, not all restaurants are required to provide nutritional information on their menu offerings. Those who do are not required to have their foods tested in labs; however, if they make certain claims, they must be able to substantiate those claims.  For instance, if a restaurant claims that their mashed potatoes are low-fat, then the serving can contain no more than three grams of fat.  The serving must comply with FDA definitions.

We’ve talked about portion control.  It is particularly important in the context of eating out. Enormous portions are served on enormous plates, tricking our eyes and helping us to overeat. We already know that we need to divide the portion in at least half the instant it arrives, instantly creating a more reasonable portion. I’ve heard of people boxing up that half portion immediately.  My friend Julia even brings her own glass containers to also avoid contributing to landfills. Even with a reasonable portion, we don’t know what’s actually in it.

Most chain restaurants have nutritional information charts or brochures available upon request to tell us what’s in our food. Next time, I’m going to do myself a favor and request it!

Personal Archaeology

Right now, take your hand and put it on the outside of the back of your bent knee.  Do you feel that ligament?  For years, I completely forgot that was there.  Ankles, wrists, hips, knees, clavicles and ribs all get lost underneath the fat. As I lost weight, I could see it, others comment on it, and I felt it; but, there was something particularly exciting when I began to excavate my own skeleton.

dancing skeletonMy friend Cindy recently reminded me how exciting that was.  In just a couple of years, I’d forgotten. The last time I saw her, she was especially excited about being able to see her ankle bones and the beginnings of her knee joints.  And I am so excited for her!  She is quite literally rediscovering herself! And whether that is an internal or an external discovery, there is a lot of work involved.  She’s doing it and she’s reaping the rewards.

For me, I was ridiculously thrilled to discover wrist bones.  I have a medium bone structure and will never be thin and willowy; however, once the fat was gone from around my wrists, I felt just like Twiggy, honey!  For my friend Carl (who lost 100 pounds many years ago), he was most excited to find his hip bones. The specifics are different for each of us, but the basic idea is the same.  We are digging ourselves out of unhealthy habits and ruts.  It’s exciting!

Now, the flip side is that it can also be a little painful.

Without the padding to protect them, my elbows bruised quite a bit from me knocking them into things. Hard chairs are literally a pain in the butt.  My knees had to realign themselves once the layers of fat tissue weren’t there anymore pushing things into unnatural places. My center of gravity and buoyancy also changed. However, I found stretching and basic yoga very helpful in lining everything back up.  I also did (and am doing) a lot of work strengthening my core.

My abs are the muscles that hold me up. They determine my posture by keeping my swayback in check. That also keeps my hips properly in their sockets, my legs straight, reducing unnecessary torque on my knees.  Them Bones is right, the hip bone’s connected to the thigh bone. The thigh bone’s connected to the shin bone. The shin bone’s connected to the foot bones.  When they are all lined up properly, they all perform more efficiently and less painfully. Lined up as they should be, they don’t wear on each other as unnecessarily and unnaturally, either.

The whole weight loss process for me was an exercise in personal archaeology on many levels.  I dug my mind out of the mire of poisonous recordings. I dug my eating habits out of the greasy rut they were in. I dug my lazy self off the couch (that one nearly took a steam shovel). And I dug my bones out of the fat prison they’d been in for years.

I have the hat for it and, by golly, I think I may have become my own Indiana Jones!

When Is A Calorie Not A Calorie?

When it’s in a carbonated soft drink.

My cousin read an article on aspartame that really scared her – scared her off her Diet Cokes, even.  She switched to drinking one regular Coke a day and maybe one regular Dr. Pepper.  Her activity level remained the same and she carefully remained within her 1300 daily calorie budget.  In a month, she gained five pounds and felt like a can of exploded biscuits.

A soft drink bottle filled with sugar cubesI’ve talked about calorie budgets and how I lost weight by staying within the one recommended to me by LoseIt.com.  There’s more to it than that.  I changed what I ate – more veggies, less starch, nothing processed.  I did not eat my 1500 daily calories in the form of three candy bars,

Why? Because the body processes calories differently according to their origins.

While I talk in terms of budgets, calories aren’t pennies, they don’t all spend the same way.  A calorie is the amount of energy required to raise the temperature of one gram of water by one degree Celsius. (My chemist mother would be so proud right now.) What we refer to as a calorie in dietary terms is actually a kilocalorie, or a large calorie.  It is the amount of energy required to raise a kilogram of water one degree Celsius. In terms of water, a calorie really is a calorie.  In terms of food, a sugar calorie is a whole different kettle of fish than a, um, fish calorie.

Massive oversimplification warning!!  Your metabolism is the process that breaks down all of the energy you take in (food) and converts it to energy you store (fat) or into energy you use (beast-mode lifting or just breathing). Your metabolism has to work harder on some foods to break them down. Fish is harder to break down than the liquid sugar in soft drinks; so, your body is going to actually use energy to metabolize the fish while the cola is pretty much going straight to your butt.

Let’s say in this 1300 calorie budget, it takes 1200 calories to maintain basic life functions (which is pretty close to accurate for women), the surplus 100 must be burned or they get stored.  Let’s say that those extra 100 are from protein and that your body uses five calories to break them down (that’s not an accurate number, just an illustration).  You burn 95 of them on a walk but you actually burn all 100 of them because of the metabolic burn.  Now, let’s say that those 100 calories came from a soft drink, but that your body needs only one calorie to break them down.  You burn the same 95 on your walk, but you burn only one extra because the sugar was so easily accessed. You now took in four more calories than you burned.

Ingesting 3500 surplus calories equals one pound of fat gained. Even at a rate of four a day, if you continually take in more calories than you burn, eventually, you will gain weight.  Small deficits or surpluses add up. Ounces make pounds – in both directions.

As Jeanna found out, it can take only a month for those ounces of soda to add up to five pounds.

Challenge – Day One

1inCRYSTALSRelax, I’m not going to phone in the next 30 days worth of posts with minor challenge updates; however, I am going to talk about today, the first day of my 30-Day Challenge.  Today was heavy on fitness.

I did a lot of walking today that I’m not going to count towards my total; however, I have some rather heavy topics weighing on my mind these days.  When I found myself brooding on them (brooding is such a descriptive word, don’t you think?), I would get up from y desk, walk down the four flights of stairs, march around the building, then walk back up the stairs.  I made this trek three times. My black heels are not designed for this.

After work and feeding the hordes, I took myself off to the gym where I sweated on the elliptical for 20 minutes, lifted weights for 30 (working on arms, shoulders and back), then walked for another 18 minutes.  My fitness goals for the month were:

  • Get to the gym 12 times
  • Walk 12 miles
  • Drink 1920 oz of water (she says that’s 64 oz a day)

I’ve made one trek to the gym, walked one mile and I consumed roughly 100 ounces of water today. It’s a decent start.

You guys didn’t share your Challenge goals with me (for shame). Anybody get started on it?

What Would You Do If You Weren’t Afraid?

A colleague challenged me with that question yesterday. What would I do if I weren’t afraid? She was asking in a strictly business sense, but the question is much larger than that, isn’t it?

I posed the same question on Facebook and, let me just tell you, I have WAY too many friends who would to jump out of perfectly good airplanes! Skydiving? Really?

You should have seen my daddy’s face when he got my grades from Mississippi State the first semester of my junior year. “Western equitation?! I’m paying for you to take horseback riding lessons?! What in the cat hair?!!!” (My daddy says “cat hair” in lieu of curse words a lot.) He was less than pleased. But for me, it wasn’t really about learning to ride a horse. For me, it was about overcoming a paralyzing fear.  I was palpably terrified the first several times I had to catch and saddle Buzz, my horse who was, poor thing, just all the way at the bottom of the herd ranking. The first time I put the bit in his mouth, I nearly fainted. Put my thumb in there? Are you mad?! Dr. Boyd, my professor, realized that I was battling a profound fear and patiently helped me overcome it.  By semester’s end, I was often first off the rail and we were ready to go, me and my buddy Buzz.

Fish at the Chattanooga aquariumI took the class because I was tired of fear ruling so much of my life.  Today, 25 years later (ugh, how did that happen?), I still find myself paralyzed by fear more frequently than I care for.  And why? What am I really afraid of? Failure? Ridicule? Pain?

Probably.

I believe that we all fear those things sometimes to the point of feeling ill. We all fear them. We all avoid them. And we all deny it.

So, what would I do if I weren’t afraid?

From a professional perspective, I would approach strangers and ask for their business. I would approach friends and ask for their business.  I would ask for what I want.  From a personal perspective, I would finish writing my book. I would clearly define my goals. I would love with all my heart.

Yesterday, I shared a 30-Day Challenge with you (and, yes, I know that October has 31 days – one day is a freebie). Conquering fear isn’t really at the core of that challenge; however, it makes sense to me that I approach conquering fear the same way I am approaching that challenge – one bite at a time.

So, from a professional perspective, the first bite was tackling that cold call list. From a personal perspective, my first bite was in defining my goals – in writing. So far, I haven’t exploded; no bits of the space station have conked me on the head. And, in spite of some nervous nausea, the world didn’t come to an end. Progress has been made.

Rome wasn’t built in a day, though; so, I’ll work on the book in my spare time. I’ll continue to write down my goals.  And, you can relax, you’ve got a little while to go before I’m asking for your business.

….but get ready.

30-Day Challenge

Autumn at the Amish marketMy friend Erika posted something yesterday that has me making a new To-Do list for myself: she posted a 30-Day Challenge, October list.  Her list breaks down several areas of her life and she’s given herself a few things to do in each category.  She’s got fitness, personal health, work and fun. Her tasks are things like walk 24 miles, drink 1920 oz of water during October, make a conscious effort at healthier daily eating, see a current movie in a theater with popcorn, hike.

I really like this challenge and am coming up with my own list (I thought about just stealing hers wholesale; but, that was just tooooo worthless).

Fitness:

  • Get to the gym 12 times
  • Walk 12 miles
  • Drink 1920 oz of water (she says that’s 64 oz a day)

Personal health (I’m including mental health in this):

  • Write four letters to friends
  • Take my daily vitamin – um – DAILY
  • Sleep at least seven hours a night

Work:

  • Attend 12 networking functions
  • Complete four areas of self-study
  • Meet with 12 people each week

Fun:

  • Take photos in small towns in the area one Saturday
  • Actually decorate for Halloween
  • Host a Samhain dinner

Looking at life recently, I have become overwhelmed and am grieving over some things – that’s easy to do, right? But we’ve discussed before how unhealthy it is to get stuck in that process. We need to fully feel, grieve and get through processes; however, we also need to stay solution focused to avoid becoming trapped in those processes.  Looking at all I have to do, I become overwhelmed and paralyzed.  So, the list breaks it down to 12 simple steps.  After all, how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time!

As important as each of these steps will be on their own, Erika’s note to herself at the bottom of the list will be the mantra throughout the month:  Remember to breathe and suck it up, buttercup.

What trials are you dealing with right now? Are you too overwhelmed to affect a solution? Try breaking it down into smaller steps.  Make a manageable list. Share it with friends, family or here (you’re among friends, after all). By sharing the lists, we become accountable to others and they become our cheering section and our support group.

With every step, remember to breathe.  Well, breathe and suck it up, buttercup!

Building Something to Move You

Walking-ClipartWaking Up in Vegas, Stricken with The Mango Kid going Tick, Tick, Boom in my ears, I concentrate on Learning to Fly because I’m a Spitfire.

It’s all about the soundtrack for me.  When I run or swim, I don’t listen to music.  Those activities are more like meditation for me.  They actually allow me to turn my brain off and clear my thoughts.  As a result, those activities are more mentally refreshing for me than just walking is.  However, at this point, walking is my main method of exercise, which kind of stinks since I don’t have much fun walking.  I don’t have much fun, that is, if I don’t take good music with me to drive me along.

My son made a terrific playlist for me to exercise to.  I use the same one all the time and I love it. I use it when I walk at the park and when I’m on a treadmill.   The beats vary a little so I shorten or lengthen my stride to match.  When I’m on the treadmill and wondering if I’ll be able to make it to the end of my workout, I visualize where I am on the park trail and I won’t let myself finish until I’m back at the car.  It’s a parlor trick, I know.  It works, though, so I’m going to continue to use it.

If you’re having a hard time making yourself go for that walk, build a playlist that works for you.  Build one that makes you want to smile, want to dance or want to run.  Build one that inspires or moves you.  The links above will get you to videos of songs that get me moving (I apologize for the quality of the one for The Mango Kid.  It’s a shame I couldn’t find one better – that’s a great song,)  Find what works for you.  Build it and use it.

After all, Ladies and Gentlemen, you are a Firework.