James Ellroy, best-selling author, was ten years old when his mother was raped, murdered and dumped on the side of the road near Los Angeles. Ellroy ended up a homeless drug addict until he turned his life around. His book My Dark Places chronicles his work with LA cold case detective Bill Stoner. In his decades of experience, Stoner has come to the conclusion that, generally, women kill men to stop the abuse. Men kill women over a scorched grilled cheese. (He said it better than that; but, you get the idea.) Of course, there are some women who are just as deadly as men; however, statistically, women are more often the victims in domestic violence cases. The man who raped and murdered Ellroy’s mother was never caught. Her son was the only one who paid dearly for her death … and he had nothing to do with it.

The Price to Be Paid

Reeva Steenkamp paid with her life for dating Pistorius. As tragic as that is, the fact is that Reeva’s suffering is over. However, the suffering of those who love her continues with every day and every breath. They continue to pay the price.

One of my favorite authors is Peter Tremayne (penname of Peter Beresford Ellis) who writes the Sister Fidelma mysteries set in 7th century Ireland. Tremayne is an Irish historian who stealthily and shamelessly inserts educational information into his fiction. I was fascinated by how the ancient legal system dealt with murder and the whole Pistorius situation brought it to mind.

In 7th century Ireland, a murderer was required to pay the family of their victim an honor price which was based on the victim’s standing in the community. Obviously, the honor price of a king would be much greater than that of a farm worker. Whatever the price, though, the murderer had to pay it. If they could not or would not, they would be turned over to the family of their victim. The family then had three choices: 1. await payment, 2. sell the murderer into slavery, or, 3. kill them. If the family chose to kill the murderer, there could be no penalty exacted on them. But what if the murderer fled?

In that event, the family launched a blood feud (although I’m still foggy on exactly what this means) and the murderer became an outlaw. Being an outlaw did not mean that the murderer had no respect for the law (that had already been clearly demonstrated), rather, it meant that the outlaw lived outside the protection of the law. Anyone could do anything to an outlaw with complete impunity. No outlaw could hide behind the very laws he broke.

This ancient practice was brought to mind specifically when I read that Pistorius had offered Steenkamp’s family a one time payment of 375,000 rand (roughly $33,154 ). Steenkamp’s mother refused the “blood money;” but, citing economic hardship, she did accept monthly payments of 6,000 rand (or 530.46) from Pistorius. When considering these figures, I cannot help but imagine that during the very early days of their relationship, Pistorius told Steenkamp how special and valuable she was to him. Well, it turns out she really wasn’t all that valuable. She was really kind of a bargain at $33K.

Tragically, many women aren’t worth even that much to their partners, their communities or their governments. They are decorations and props to be controlled emotionally, physically and sexually.

And that’s what makes my blood boil.

Reeva Steenkamp – model and Oscar Pistorius’s girlfriend. That’s all we know about her – well, in the States, at least. Maybe in South Africa the media has given more information about her than just those surface facts; but, in my searches, I haven’t found it. I really would have hoped to have found several articles about her – about who she was, what she accomplished and what she dreamed. Instead, I found lots of ink labelling her a model and, thus, essentially dismissing her. She becomes a cardboard cutout and, thus, nothing more than a supporting cast member in the life of paralympian hero Pistorius.

I’m not sure which urge is stronger for me at this point: to gag or to sob at the tragedy of this.

First Thing We Do, Let’s Kill All the Lawyers

Perhaps Pistorius is a fan of Shakespeare’s Henry, VI (Part 2) and agrees with Dick when he makes this pronouncement in Scene 2 of Act 4….. Nah, I don’t think so, either. Still, Steenkamp was more than a supporting cast member. She had a favorite color, a favorite food, a favorite song. She had a mother who adored her. She was a full-on human being with all that entails. She actually was a lawyer, having graduated with a law degree from Nelson Mandela Metropolitan University. Now, I don’t know if South African law degrees are the same as ours in the US and, while I can find statements saying that she was studying for the bar and working as a paralegal, I cannot find any that say that she actually passed the bar or practiced law as an attorney. Regardless, I’m fairly certain that their law degrees aren’t handed out like handi-wipes at Buffalo Wild Wings any more than ours are. The woman had a brain in her head and, before she turned to modeling and television, she worked to get that degree. And, according to a friend, how did she plan on using it? By helping victims of domestic violence.

Is that irony or just a really bad cosmic joke?

In addition to being an intelligent woman, she was a determined one. While in her early 20s, she was injured in a horse riding accident. She broke her back and had to learn to walk again. That takes some grit! Never having had to learn to walk after a broken back myself, I did a little research. Not in any piece I read did I find the words “easy,” “painless,” or “quick.” Recovering from those injuries takes a lot of time, a great deal of determination and dedication. The process is grueling and painful. And it’s a process that this “supporting cast member” survived.

Recently, Steenkamp’s mother June has opened up about some things her daughter told her (or, in the effort to be unbiased, things she says that her daughter told her). She says that although Reeva had been seeing Oscar for four months and was sleeping at his house, the two did not have a sexual relationship. June says that Reeva was uncomfortable taking the relationship to that level and, in fact, was going to leave Oscar when he killed her. June says that Reeva’s bags were packed which backs up her claim.

Even if June is incorrect and is stating more of what she wants to be true than what actually is true (and I’m not saying anything either way since I know only what I read), one does wonder why a woman who had been passionate about helping victims of domestic abuse would stay in a relationship with a man who has been described by his own friends as moody and who had a well-documented history of firing guns in public.

Why didn’t she just leave?

We’ll talk about that tomorrow.

Fair warning: I’ve had the subject of a woman’s value on my mind for a few weeks now and I’m going to share my thoughts with you over the next few days. I’ve been trying let my thoughts settle and gel into one cohesive post; but, they’re jut not doing it. My thoughts are coming from several directions and just won’t boil down to 700 words or less. While I not a professional writer, I have learned not to try to wrestle my thoughts into submission. I have to let the story tell itself or else I’m not happy with it at all. Thus, I’m just going to put my thoughts down in the way they’ve been demanding and we’ll just go from there.

On The Face Of It

Renee Zellweger was the talk of the internet recently when she showed at at an event looking quite different from before. Now, bear in mind that she’s been out of the limelight for a little while now; so, it’s not like there were photos from last week to compare to. A few years have passed; but, there was a great deal of speculation about what kind of work she might have had done and popular opinion seems to be that she had an eyelid lift or some such thing. One talking head at TMZ seemed to lament the change in her eyes, saying, “This is the thing that made Renee Zellweger herself.”  Really.

You may be surprised to hear that I am a big fan of Russell Brand. While his style of expression is certainly different from my own, I think the man is brilliant and I certainly would not want to be the focus of that razor brain of his. In response to the talking head, Russell lampooned that it was, indeed, her eyes that made Zellweger herself,  “not any kind of essential relationship with an unknowable entity, not her personal experiences that she’s been through, not her talent or her charm, or her individual experiences as a woman. It’s her eyes. That’s what made her herself.” (I’ve attached the video where Russell sounds off below. It’s brilliant. Check it out.)

Certainly, Zellweger is an actress and, as such, is judged largely on her appearance; however, this whole hoopla reduces her to even less  than a cardboard cutout. She is just the eyes of a cardboard cutout. I’ve seen several of her films and have to say the the Bridget Jones ones usually mentioned with her are probably my least favorites. She was great in One True Thing, Deceiver, White Oleander and Chicago. And, honestly, she made Cold Mountain for me. Without her character Ruby, that just would have been two hours of my life I’ll never get back! My point is this: the woman is talented and is more than just the eyes of a cardboard cutout.

Another woman who has been reduced to a single dimension is Reeva Steenkamp. Think about the news reports. What do you know about her?

1. She was a model.
2. She was dating Olympic runner Oscar Pistorius.
3. She was hiding in the bathroom when Oscar shot her to death.

Three things – and two of them are related to Pistorius and have little to do with Steenkamp herself! So. She was a model. That’s it. She was a pretty face and nothing more. Except that she was more. Her murder and his sentencing are what started this whole line of thought in my head. I’ll share more about that with you tomorrow.