Monthly Archives: February 2016

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Oooo! You a Lie!

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I went to 6th grade with this kid named Walter. Anytime Walter heard another kid say something untrue or that he just didn’t like, he’d cover his mouth with one skinny little hand, point the other one and say, “Oooo! You a lie!” Walter was all inside my head when I saw Dr. Allie on the 15th.

The good doctor asked the same questions that all good doctors do:

  • Do you drink alcohol?
  • Do you smoke?
  • Do you use recreational drugs?
  • Do you exercise?

So I answered truthfully:

  • Barely
  • Not anymore
  • No
  • Um….well, see…I walk a lot at work and, um….

Yeah. Like he looked at the 57 pound weight gain and believed that for a millisecond. Really? Why do they even ask? Do you see my butt oozing over the sides of this chair? Do I look like I exercise?

During the course of our conversation I mentioned swimming. “Oh, you like to swim?” he asked. I said that I did and that swimming and running are as close as I can get to meditation. I have run only once since my knee surgery, though. Somewhere along the path of this conversation, I agreed to participate in a 5K on March 19 in which he, his dog and many of his weight loss patients are running.

Well, alrighty then. I guess I have to start getting ready for that, huh? As it happens, I started yesterday.

My sister (who lives with me and who also works night shift) was sleeping. So as not to disturb her (or eat all day or go back to sleep myself) I left the house and went knocking around town for a bit. I drank some decaf, went to a bookstore, wrote some letters, but then I got bored. It was at this point that I remembered that I still had a gym bag in my car; so, I headed to the gym. (Just so you don’t think this exercise stuff was premeditated.)

I walked 20 minutes at 3.5mph and ran ten minutes at 5.1mph. The running was sprinkled throughout the walking. Then I had that five minute cool-down walk. It was really great! I got a little frustrated that my heart and lungs didn’t let me just run the whole time. I love that feeling! While I hate the feeling when I first start sweating, I like feeling my muscles work and respond when I call on them for something.

Today I listened to music while I ran on the treadmill. I don’t normally do that, but it was good today. Usually, I count. I count three footfalls while I’m breathing in and three footfalls while I’m breathing out. If I don’t, I sometimes end up unconsciously holding my breath, which of course leads to just unconsciousness all the way around. It also reduces muscle performance as they are gasping for oxygen. I can walk and chew gum at the same time; but, I can’t really count and listen to music at the same time. So the tunes don’t make the cut.

pinnochio walkingI think I’ve mentioned before  that I have all the athletic grace of a hippo with ingrown toenails. So, I was very pleased today that I didn’t end up a pile in the floor from hyperventilation, from apoplexy, or from just tripping over my own feet. Because of that, I count it as a successful workout and I really did have some fun while I was doing it.

No lie!

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T Minus 54

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jungle-book-shere-khan-kaa

So, I went to the doctor yesterday for an ongoing issue with my sinuses – I swear! I feel like Kaa “Ahhhh, my sssssssinussssssss!” Anyway, the nurse did the weigh in, you know, like they do, and I’ve lost three pounds this week. 🙂

I put the little smiley face there, but I’m not going to lie: I was totally hoping for a loss of about ten pounds; so, in spite of real progress, I find myself a little bummed.

How silly is that?!

I say it all the time: baby steps in the right direction are still progress. And, three pounds is a toddler step, at least! Those old negative recordings in my mind are up and at it again – “Yeah, you did it; but, any fool can see you could have done more.” Seriously, I need a mute button for that voice. Why do I do that to myself? Am I the only one here doing that garbage? The packed shelves in the self-help section tell me I’m not.

I saw a counselor many years ago who had me do exercises in giving myself the credit I was due – not taking anything that didn’t belong to me, mind you. He didn’t want me to sugar coat anything, but didn’t want me to poop coat it either. The exercises were born after he asked me if I had finished college. I replied something like, “Yes, but my grades weren’t very good.” Now, my counselor was a great big hippie of a man who said, “Stop right there.” He proceeded to tell me that graduating was an accomplishment of which I should be proud. I am not required to classify my graduation as being something Less Than because I didn’t have the GPA that someone else thought I should have or that perhaps my IQ even said I should have. I didn’t get kicked out and I finished. That’s an accomplishment. It’s valid and it’s mine.

Yet, the bully in my head wants to take my accomplishments. Every. Stinking. Time. It’s funny, I don’t stand for that kind of behavior from bullies outside my head – those I’ll go toe to toe with; but, the one inside my head? I let her push me around all the time. In addition to exercising my will power and my body, I’m going to have to exercise telling her just where to step off.

Any progress is still progress. This week, I lost three pounds. That’s an accomplishment. It’s valid and it’s mine. I’ve got liftoff on The Great Reduction Redux and no one is allowed to take that away from me – not even I am!

 

Food, General Health, Habits

Day 6 (and not counting as much)

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Every time I have quit smoking, the quitting started something like: “It’s been 210 minutes since I had my last cigarette.” “It’s been three days since I last had a cigarette.” “I’m on week 2 with no smokes.” At some point in the process, I would stop counting. For instance, this time, I quit smoking sometime between nine and ten years ago. I can’t really tell you when. It became less important to keep track after awhile … because I wasn’t jonesing for a smoke anymore.

In this sugar rehab, I’m approaching that point. I can tell because although I’d still sell you my sister for a Diet Coke and pack of Oreos, I’d charge you a lot more. I baked a cake for work Saturday night and rather than look at it and whimper that I couldn’t have a piece, I looked at it and knew that it would not get me to my  goal. Thus, the cake was verboten. Period. And I was mostly okay with that.

Really.

I know that I’m not out of the woods, but I’m getting closer to the edge. What a relief! This first week has been really hard – okay, it’s been hideous – and I’m under no illusion that it’s automagically going to get easy; however, I have confidence that it will get easier every day. After all, it already has! I feel more energetic. I’m sleeping SO much better and I’m feeling less surly. (Thank goodness!)

You’ll notice a new tab at the top of the page – The Great Reduction Redux. This is where you’re going to find spreadsheets of my activity, my daily calorie intake and how it balances nutritionally. Several days this week I consumed too few calories. I’m working on that because that is absolutely NOT the right way to go about this.

Of course we lose weight to feel better, to look better and to feel like we look better. But the main focus here should always to be on better health. You don’t get richer by spending money you don’t have and you don’t get healthier by expending nutrient resources you don’t replace. You can get thinner, sure; but not healthier. And, really, what’s the point in being thin if you’re not healthy? Since I can’t think of a good one, I’m going for healthy.

 

 

Body Changes, Habits, Uncategorized

Day 3

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As I think I’ve told you, I work nights. I am super late writing today because when I got home this morning, I was just too tired to write anything. The night ended unusually stressfully; so, all I wanted when I got home was a hot bath. After having a good wallow in hot Epsom salt water, all I could think about was sleep. I didn’t even eat any dinner: I just went straight to bed and to sleep.

Obviously, I have not hit the energized state of the process; however, to be fair, I have to admit that I have also dropped caffeine this week. My body’s two favorite stimulants – sugar and caffeine – are no more. As a result, I’m dragging – big time. However, having been through all of this before, I know that this is a temporary state and that I really will feel better without those things in my system. (Although I’d probably sell you my sister for a Diet Coke right now.)

Last night was a HUGE test of my will power! My company gave out sugar cookies to all employees (which I was obliged to hand out as a member of the committee), and one of my colleagues gave me a Dove heart, Valentine M&Ms (peanut ones. Yes, my favorite.) and a tiny Snickers. I was in purgatory and I’m not even Catholic! To deal with the strong temptation (after all, those chocolates were really small, how much could they hurt?), I asked myself the question that is the last item on Dr. Allie’s list: “Is this going to help me reach my goals?”

No. No, those treats weren’t.

So, I gave out the cookies with a smile and ate none. I gave the small chocolates to a pregnant friend who was thrilled to have them. And the lovely M&Ms are in the freezer waiting to be enjoyed in a reasonable manner after I meet my goals.

Day 3 was tough. I was tougher. It was close, but I’ll take the win. You bet I will!

 

 

Body Changes, Cravings, Food, Habits

Detox: Day 2

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It’s a short visit today, y’all, on account of I feel just like the woman in this picture. My headache is monumental. I’m tired. I’m cranky. And I nearly killed a colleague last night for his peanut M&Ms (although in all fairness, those are my favorites). I was offered cheese pizza for dinner and the new cinnamon bun flavored Oreos for a snack. Really it’s nothing short of a miracle that I didn’t completely flip out.

But sometimes miracles do happen.

I remained fairly civil, maimed no one and that one incident of chasing Damon for the M&Ms hardly even counts. It’s Day 2 and it’s been so long since I’ve done this, I don’t really even remember how many hideous days I have to endure before I start feeling sharp, alert, and healthier. I don’t remember how long this goes on; but, I do remember that it has an end and at that end I will, indeed, feel mentally sharper, more alert and a great deal healthier.

So, we put this one in the books and say, “Bring it on, Day 3!”

Food, Habits, Motivation

Detox: Day 1

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Alright, first, let me say that I get just as annoyed as most people when diets talk about “detoxing” and “cleansing.” Most of the people making those claims hold degrees in marketing, not in medicine or nutrition. Frankly, I’m not even sure those claims have any real meaning. What I’m talking about here is straight up detoxing – getting away from an addictive substance and going through the subsequent withdrawal symptoms.

You might have noticed that chocolate appears nowhere on Dr. Allie’s list. It doesn’t appear on the copy I transcribed for you and it doesn’t exist on the original. Trust me. I examined it … at length … with a magnifying glass … and with invisible ink developers. Chocolate wasn’t there neither were low-fat cookies, Oreos, frozen cashew milk desserts, peanut butter, Nilla wafers, Diet Coke, nor fruit baked into pies. Okay, yeah. That makes sense. I’ve been through this before and knew that all of those (except peanut butter – that was kind of a nasty surprise) were on the prohibited list. So yesterday saw my first day of detox from sugar. And my body isn’t freaking out.

Yet.

After party clean upAs we’ve discussed before (a really long time ago) the human brain reacts to sugar in the same way that it reacts to cocaine and sex. The pleasure centers light up and throw a giant party. Once the sugar is all used up, the pleasure centers begin to sulk, fuss and demand another party. My cells aren’t demanding a party yet; but, they are beginning to get a little disgruntled. Here’s what I ate yesterday:

Budget 1,264   Food Intake 1,209
Breakfast: 416
Tofurky Italian Sausage 1 Piece (280 cal)
German Sauerkraut 1 Cup (56 cal)
Beets 1 Cup (80 cal)
Lunch: 154
Creamy Sweet Potato and Vegetable Stew 1 Serving (104 cal)
Beets 1/4 Cup (20 cal)
Plums, Fresh, 2 1/8″ 1 Each (30 cal)
Dinner: 270
Oatmeal with flax meal and chia seeds 2/3 Serving (180 cal)
Banana, Fresh, Sml, 6″ To 6 7/8″ Long 1 Each (90 cal)
Snacks: 369
Deluxe Mixed Nuts 1 1/2 Ounces (255 cal)
Hummus, Roasted Pine Nut 2 Tablespoons (50 cal)
Cucumber, Fresh, Med 2 Cups (31 cal)
Asparagus, Spears, Cooked 10 Each (33 cal)

My nutrient breakdown was about:

Fat – 48.7g, 37.7% of calories (USDA – 20-35% of calories)
Saturated fat – 8.3g
cholesterol – 0g (no animal products means no cholesterol)
Sodium – 3088.4mg (USDA – 2300mg)
Carbohydrates – 117.4g, 40.3% of calories (USDA – 130g, 45-65% of calories)
Fiber – 32.5g (USDA – 25.2g)
Sugar – 34g (There is no USDA number; however, the Heart Association recommends 25g for females)
Protein – 64g, 22% of calories (USDA – 46g, 10-35% of calories)
USDA daily calorie recommendations for females my age:
1800 for sedentary, 2000 for moderately active, 2200 for active

I was a little over in my fat consumption (all those nuts) and a little over in my sugar intake (beets. Beets, man.) However, it was a fairly balanced day. For the next few days, I will likely remain a little high in my sugar intake since I’ll be eating fruits to try to keep my pleasure centers from going into full-on rebellion. After my body gets used to having nutrient- and fiber-rich foods again, I’ll be able to back off the fruit a little.

Until then, I’ve got to go check the refrigerator. I’m just certain I bought blueberries yesterday.

Food, Habits, Thought Patterns

Dr. Allie’s Weight Loss Strategies

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As I promised yesterday, here is the list of Dr. Allie’s weight loss recommendations. You can bet that this will be up on my refrigerator right after I finish typing it in to share with you!

  • No starches, sugars, carbs – cereal, break, bagels, rolls, pasta, rice potatoes, sweets, baked goods. No processed foods! Nothing out of a box or bag. Only eat foods that were alive – plants and healthy animals.
  • strategy cycleFruits, vegetables, eggs, chicken, fish, turkey, salad, nuts, seeds, yogurt, beans, lentils, olive oil, tea, berries. Hot peppers and spices!
  • Eat breakfast. Eggs, berries, Greek yogurt, bananas, almonds, pumpkin seeds, oats. Best bread is Ezekiel Sprouted Bread.
  • Drink plenty of water and tea. No soda, juice, milk. No diet soda.
  • No 1-2 big meals daily. Must eat small meal every 3-4 hours.
  • Nothing after 6-7PM. No bedtime or midnight snacks.
  • Baked, no fried. No greasy, fast food.
  • Snacks – almonds/walnuts, carrots, pumpkin seeds, yogurt, apple.
  • No sauce, dressing, ketchup, butter. Instead use cinnamon/turmeric.
  • Sleep enough – over 7 hrs is best.
  • Take Vitamin D3 2000 units, fish oil and probiotics daily.
  • Must exercise at least 30 minutes daily. Both walking and weights. Must be intense, and you must sweat. Not just walking on treadmill while reading or watching TV.
  • For weight loss – best time to exercise is in morning, before breakfast.
  • Also you should walk daily after eating dinner.
  • Every time you put something in your mouth, as yourself: “Is this going to help me reach my goals?”

That is the list that the doctor gave me yesterday. The list differs just a little from what I did when I successfully lost the weight before; but, it doesn’t differ that much. (Still, I will be asking him about sweet potatoes, oatmeal and peanuts, which do not appear on his list but which I ate in portion controlled ways during The Great Reduction.) I can tell you from experience that this stuff works. It’s not fancy; it’s not glamorous; and, it’s not immediate. However, it is a healthful, sane approach and it does work.

And, if you’re going to live the next six months anyway, why not give this a go and live those months a little (or maybe even a lot) more healthfully?

Accountability, General Health

Once More. With Feeling!

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When I first lost 94 pounds three years ago, my lifelong friend Rebecca was one of the people who encouraged me to write this blog to share how I lost the weight and how I was successfully keeping it off. It was a little difficult to write all of that because I’d already lost the weight and really couldn’t remember the struggle step-by-step; so, I wrote most posts from memory, sharing some of the technical information, but omitting a great deal of the feelings because, frankly, I couldn’t remember them at that point. It was kind of like trying to describe child-birth a few months afterwards. You can’t really remember just how ridiculous the pain actually was or maybe you just refuse to believe that that level of pain actually exists. Anyway, guess what! That’s all about to change!!

And here’s why: today I went to my new general practitioner. I haven’t had a regular doctor in a few years and thought I should find one for regular check-ups and that sort of thing. So, I went doctor shopping. Of course, they did the height, weight, blood pressure, heart rate, and blood oxygen saturation stuff. Everything was just lovely…everything except the weight.

Friends, in the last twelve months I have gained 57 pounds. I can tell you’re not picking yourself up off the floor like I did, but I’m sure you can feel at least a little of my pain, frustration, disappointment, embarrassment, and just plain old irritation. How did I let that happen?! How did I put that much weight back on?!

The same way I took it off – one ounce at a time, one bite at a time, one decision at a time. Taking the weight off, I made good decisions about what went into my body and how active I was. This year, however, I made poor decisions by eating carelessly and mindlessly, and by lying to myself about my level of activity.

Since I’ve been to that facility before, Dr. Allie could see where my weight was once 225 (although not my highest of 236), then went down to 165 (although not my lowest of 144), then came up again to today’s weight of 201*. He commented that, clearly, I could make it happen and asked what I wanted his role in this process to be. He liked that I didn’t want any meds to help me and that I wanted him to help monitor my progress and my blood numbers. He’s a whirlwind who, before I knew what was happening, had given me a list of his weight loss strategies (which I’ll share tomorrow) and who challenged me to start running again. He invited me to bring my dog Ellie and to join him and many of his other patients in a 5K on March 19. I really enjoy running; so, I’m in.

In the last year, I’ve talked a few times about starting over and getting back on track; but, you and I both know that I didn’t do it. That was all noise and I was not walking the walk, even though I know that I feel so much better with better fuel in my body, with stronger muscles and with a lower body weight. This time, though, I have someone local to help keep me honest and to whom I am accountable – I even have my follow-up appointment scheduled already to check my progress.

As for the blog, for those of you not on LoseIt! I’ll be sharing my food and exercise journal, which was key to my success before. And this time, Rebecca, I’ll be chronicling the struggle as it happens.

So, here we go again. Let’s do it once more. This time with feeling!

 

 

* I have hesitated (okay, refused) to share my actual weight before on account of I’m a woman and I didn’t want that gawdawful number actually out there. After all, we live in a world of 110 pound, 5’11” perfection and, honey, I ain’t even close – not in any plane of the multiverse. But, here’s the thing, what I hear most from readers that I know and from readers I haven’t yet met is that you value my honesty. If I hide my actual weight from you, then I’m not being as honest as I think we all need to be about our weight and body image struggles. At 144 pounds, I am thin enough. I’m in a size 6 and I feel great. If I were thinner, I would look sick. In truth, there were those who said I didn’t look too healthy as a size 6. (I respectfully disagreed.) Anyway, the ugly truth is that on this day, I weighed in at 201 and unless I grow another foot taller (and at 48, I’m pretty sure that my days of vertical growth spurts are over), that weight is just too high. So, whatever your weight, know it, own it, and either love it or join me and change it.