Category Archives: Food

Food

There’s Junk Food and There’s Frankenfood

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Garden-of-Eatin-Sweet-PotFriday, I shared with you that I was in the midst of PMS cravings and just could not figure out what would satisfy them. Well, that was then, honey! I found the food I was searching for – Garden of Eatin’ Sweet Potato Corn Tortilla Chips! Mmmmm. AND they let me stay in my current menu. Nirvana, right? Healthy junk food?

I didn’t say they were healthy. I said that they let me stay in my current menu. Not the same thing.

With my new vegetarian, nearly vegan menu, I get a lot of questions and end up in a great many conversations about it. In one conversation, a friend expressed surprised that an obese woman she’d just met was a life-long vegetarian. How can that be? How can a vegetarian be overweight at all, much less obese? I used to wonder the same thing.

I always had this image of a vegetarian as someone who ate mostly salads and steamed vegetables. Honestly, I didn’t really get the difference between a vegetarian and a vegan since I believed that they both lived on primarily twigs and grass, drank herbal tea, smoked weed and dropped acid. (Well, maybe not all of them.)

Au contraire! (That’s French for, “Oh, lemme tell you how you’re wrong.”)

To be a vegetarian, a person does not eat meat. That doesn’t necessarily mean that they don’t eat eggs or milk products. It doesn’t mean that they don’t eat sugar; it only means that they don’t eat meat. They can still eat cake, ice cream, candy bars, french fries…you get the picture.

Vegans are vegetarians who don’t eat meat or any other animal product like eggs or dairy. However, even vegans can eat a wide variety of things that aren’t necessarily healthy including Oreos, many cookies, most candy, lots of different chips, some bagels and even many frozen desserts. Neither vegetarianism nor veganism is necessarily good healthism. (It’s not a word. I know that, just work with me.)

These folks ain’t subsisting on grass and twigs.

So, back to my sweet potato corn tortilla chips. Like all junk food, they are calorie dense, nutrient sparse. A serving (about nine chips – puhleeze) contains 140 calories, 1 gram of sugar, 2 grams of protein and 2% of the RDA of both iron and vitamin A. 2%? That’s nothing. The reason I chose them rather than some other chip is their ingredient list which contains nothing that I can’t pronounce. Malic acid is the only ingredient I didn’t know anything about. Compare that to other chips with ingredients like monosodium glutamate and disodium inosinate. While neither chemical is necessarily harmful, I’d rather my snacks have more easily pronounced ingredients. I feel better believing that they are a more natural option than some other choices out there.

Or, maybe I’m just kidding myself because it says “organic, gluten-free and non-GMO” on the package. Could be.  In any case, my cravings are satisfied, the PMS Beast is once again at rest, and the neighborhood is safe.

Whew!

Food

Estranged Bedfellows

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cheetah and dogYou’ve heard about these guys, right? The cheetah and the dog at the San Diego Zoo that are best buds in spite of their instincts? That dog should have been a snack AGES ago; but, the cheetah loves the dog and the feeling seems to be mutual. Strange bedfellows, no doubt.

Yesterday afternoon, my mind drifted to the subject of strange bedfellows, drifted right on through that and ended up at estranged bedfellows – specifically, PMS cravings and my current menu. Verily I say unto you, never the two shall meet. Not even close.

You and I, we’ve been having these little visits for months now; so, we’re friends and I can tell you that I’m PMSing in a big way. The thing is, when I have food cravings this time of the month, I can normally pinpoint what it is that I want. This month, I can’t.

In addition to feeling cranky, I’m feeling lazy, as well, and I want something convenient. I’ve been running through the list of foods I haven’t eaten in over a month now and I’m coming up empty. I got nothing that sounds like it will do the trick. Last night, I ate one of the cupcakes I made for a coworker and that didn’t do it, either. (I must say, though, that the cupcake with its frosting of Cool Whip, neufchatel cheese and diced strawberries was a treat.)

So now what?

As I sit here writing this, I’m drinking peach herbal tea and enjoying some dried plums. I used to enjoy prunes, but some marketing guy decided that we’re all way too hip and vital to eat prunes. Hip and vital people eat only dried plums. Whatever. I’m enjoying them even knowing that they’re not scratching that PMS food itch either.

So that leaves me sticking with my new menu, although mostly by default. I have to admit that if I identified this craving as cheese puffs, I’d knock that craving right out, then spend the next 30 minutes cleaning the orange dust off my keyboard. As it is, I’ll behave.

At least for now, my behavior and my menu are united, even if my cravings and my menu are estranged.

Body Changes, Food

Oh, My Soles!

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Man-my-feet-are-exhausted-61941I didn’t write this morning because, frankly, when I returned from work, all I could think about was soaking my feet, knees and hips in hot water. I was in pain like I haven’t been in weeks!

And I’m pretty sure it was something I ate.

Maybe it’s not; but, in the last couple of weeks, I’ve eaten more processed food and more peanuts than I have in a very long time. That means, I’ve eaten more sodium than I have in a very long time. And I think it’s caught up with me.  I will have to be more sparing in my consumption of salted nuts, and those frozen vegetarian and vegan options I shared with you. Of course, there could be other causes like the physicality of my job, my shoes or the nightshades that I’ve been eating lately.

My job is physically demanding, no doubt about it. At the very least, I am standing for ten hours; but, most of the time, I’m walking around all of that time. However, it has been no more physical lately than before; so, I don’t think that’s it. We’ve discussed how vital good shoes are and my shoes may play a part. I bought them back in June. But, I bought three pair and I rotate wearing them; so, I expect them to last a couple of months longer. Neither of those factors have changed in the last week or so making me discount their involvement.

That brings us to the nightshades. While I normally eat some sweet peppers, I don’t eat a whole lot of them – maybe three a week. Eggplant is also something I’ve eaten without issue in the last couple of months. The one thing I ate this week that I haven’t eaten in quite some time are grape tomatoes. While nightshade fruits and vegetables are good for you nutritionally, some studies have shown them to cause inflammation. Since there are some 2,000 species in the Solanaceae family, of which nightshades are a part, obviously, not all nightshades cause inflammation in all people. But, I’m thinking that maybe the tomatoes cause inflammation in me. To test my theory, I’m going to eliminate them and the eggplant (for good measure) from my diet until the pain disappears, then add them back one at a time to see what happens.

Or, maybe it’s not one thing – maybe the food, my job and the shoes are working on concert with the salt to bring me down! Its a conspiracy worthy of the Tin Hat League!

In any case, while the cause may be a little difficult to pinpoint, the effect is oh, so easy to find….all the way to the depths of my soles.

Food, Thought Patterns

More Than One Way to Get There

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Ancient_Roman_road_of_Tall_AqibrinIn the Roman Empire, it was said that all roads led to Rome and, I guess, it was true since the Romans built all the paved roads.  If you build all the roads, you get to make up all the sayings about them. In the case of resolutions – whether new year’s, new Monday or post pig-out, I think that most roads lead to weight loss – or have the goal of it, anyway.

But there are lots of roads to get to that destination.

On Facebook, a friend posted a photo of herself holding a dress she wore when she was about 200 pounds heavier. In the text she posted with the photo, she said something about the gastric bypass surgery she had and how many people view that as taking the “easy” way out. Anyone who thinks that there is any easy way to lose 200 pounds is, not to put too fine a point on it, an idiot.

As I’ve said over and over in this blog, I share some of my own experiences losing weight, and the foods and habits that helped me do it. However, there are many different ways to lose weight effectively and healthfully. I constantly stress healthfully because for every solid program out there, there are three or four completely cockamamie ones. I’ve tried a few of them with limited positive results and a litany of negative experiences. Seriously, who wants to smell like vinegar all the time? So, again, as long as you lose weight in a healthful way, I say:

Go with what works for you!

For the seriously obese, gastric bypass or lap bands may be the only options that save their lives.  Even with the surgery, diet and exercise must be altered to incorporate healthful habits or the weight loss will never be permanent. I know of a few gastric bypass patients who have gained all of the weight back because they didn’t incorporate the changes.  The same thing is true for packaged food diets. If you don’t incorporate good food choices, portion control and exercise into your lifestyle, the weight loss will be only temporary.

Making those sorts of sweeping changes for maintenance is not easy, regardless of the method one used to achieve the initial weight loss.

Any real weight loss or healthful living program takes commitment, diligence, consistency and time. Let’s not forget about time. After all, neither Rome nor her roads were built in a day.

Food

Market Research – Supermarket, That Is

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morningstar-foodsIn the course of catching up this weekend with friends I rarely see, the subject of my food came up since  one of them is always telling me that I’m “just going to disappear.” Before I outlined my current menu, I told them that, frankly, the whole thing sounds so high-maintenance that I want to roll my eyes at my own self.  After all, it’s caffeine-free, mostly gluten-free, mostly vegan, avoiding added sugar and artificial sweeteners. For the moment, I’ve decided to call it JAD’s Pregan Plan. (What do you think? Other suggestions?)

Not wanting them to think that I was deprived in any way, I had taken some samples of what I normally eat with me – Gigantes in vinaigrette, tri-colored chickpea salad, roasted veggies (eggplant, zucchini, and summer squash) with Greek seasoning and a kiss of Parmesan, tofurkey Italian sausage with caramelized onions, sautéed sweet peppers, Portobello mushrooms and spinach. I also took grape tomatoes, sliced cucumber and carrots to dip in edamame hummus. It was a feast! And they agreed that I’m not depriving myself of anything. Here are some of the packaged foods I’ve found to augment my roasted or sautéed vegetables, nuts and beans.

Tofurkey Italian sausage – I’ll be the first to admit that the name “tofurkey” is just ridiculous. In my opinion, it doesn’t taste like either turkey or Italian sausage; but, I do like the flavor with the peppers, onions, mushrooms and spinach. The texture of it is a little weird, though. It feels like the “meat” in canned ravioli.

I’ve tried several Morning Star frozen patties: Maple Flavored Sausage Patties, Mediterranean Chickpea, Grillers Prime, Roasted Garlic & Quinoa, and Spicy Black Bean Burger. Although all of the varieties contain some kind of wheat or wheat gluten, there wasn’t enough in there to upset my system.

Maple Flavored Sausage Patties – These are a nice addition to my morning hot cereal from time to time, although I’m going to see if they have another kind that doesn’t have the maple flavor, which is just a little too strong and chemical tasting for me. They are a little on the dry side and are kind of chewy; however, that’s like normal patty sausage in my house since I usually overcook it. Each patty has 10 grams of protein, 80 calories, and contain egg whites.

Mediterranean Chickpea – Now these are tasty! They have a nice texture and the color is something like a chicken patty. I like the herbs and spices in this one, which I served with caramelized onions and a side of beets. I’ll get these again. Each patty has 10 grams of protein, 110 calories, and contain egg whites.

Grillers Prime – These look like hamburger patties and might be better if cooked on a grill and served on a bun with traditional burger condiments. As it was, I heated them and at them on a plate with veggie sides. I was not impressed. They are really dry and the inside looks like wet cardboard pulp. I also tried eating them with the caramelized onions and all, which was better; but, I still won’t buy these again. Each patty has 17 grams of protein, 170 calories, and contain egg whites.

Roasted Garlic & Quinoa – These were pretty good. The texture reminded me a lot of the salmon croquettes my mother made when I was young. The flavor is a little on the mild side; but, I liked it. I’ll buy these again, too. Each patty has 7 grams of protein, 130 calories, and contain no egg whites.

Spicy Black Bean Burger – These are my favorites and I’m going to have to figure out how to make them on my own. The flavor is really good and the texture is good. I ate them with just a little salsa on top and loved them. Until I can come up with a recipe of my own, I’ll buy these again! Each patty has 10 grams of protein, 110 calories, and contain egg whites.

Edamame hummus – I’ve eaten regular hummus for years and love it. I bought this just to try something different. The taste is phenomenal; however, my body had an adverse reaction to it. I’ll just say that I will eat this only when I’m going to be by myself, outside in a stiff wind. It is not a food for me to eat in confined spaces.

DREAMMy favorite find for processed vegetarian or vegan food has been, hands down, Dream Salted Caramel Gelato. This stuff is fantastic! It has the texture and flavor of dairy gelato and is, without question, a certain repeat purchase for me.

I’ve been both surprised and thrilled to find some processed foods to add to my legume, fruit and vegetable plates. While these foods do contain a good bit of sodium and have the danger of being too convenient, they are nice additions from time to time. I won’t keep a freezer full of them because they are so convenient. I can easily see how I’d end up popping the patties into the microwave and eating them alone rather than eating a balanced diet with lots of fruits and veggies. Still, it’s nice to have the option.

 

 

Food, Habits

Exactly HOW is this better?

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After relating my cereal induced thoracic balloon story to a friend, he said something along the lines of, “And this new diet is a good thing? Um, how exactly?”

Well, I’m so glad you asked! You see, it’s all about “normal.”

What is your normal? Really think about it. Does your normal include:

  • a constant bloated feeling
  • frequent gas
  • heartburn
  • sluggish feeling after eating
  • sluggish feeling in the morning
  • energy crashes
  • low blood-sugar shakes
  • sharp feelings of hunger
  • frequent lung congestion
  • joint pain
  • headaches
  • constipation

Mine did for so many years that I just thought it was the way I was supposed to feel. Guess what. It’s not.

None of those things are in my new normal. I believe that all of those symptoms were caused by the food I was eating and how my body reacted to it; but, that never occurred to me before. I mean, really. Why would I think that my bloated, gassy feeling was caused by that delicious chocolate croissant? (I’m still grieving over that.) Or that my struggle to breathe every 14 days was related to that “healthy” yogurt I was eating? Or that the sluggish feeling I got after eating was a direct result of the meat and/or cheese I had at my meal?

vegan bowlWhen I did the whole Juice Reboot for those few days, and the veggie and legume only diet I continued with, what I did was rid my system of all of the allergens. I gave my system a good clean out – and not just the Exlax way. I cleaned my system out down to the cellular level, I’m pretty sure. Now, I’m slowly adding some foods back into my diet to see the foods which cause adverse reactions in my system. Of course, I’m going to cause myself some difficulties during this process. That’s to be expected; however, it’s the only way I can think of to find out what foods my system really doesn’t like. and my body told me loud and clear that it doesn’t like wheat on Tuesday. Loud. And. Clear.

So, now I remove all (or at least most) wheat from my diet.

Last year I learned that my battle with chest congestion from a few years ago was likely related to my dairy intake. Even after my pulmonologist tied my struggle to breathe with an allergy of some kind, I never suspected dairy. Dairy made me gassy, I knew, but would never have suspected that it would have resulted in chest congestion. I suspected airborne allergens. Now I suspect cow-borne ones.

So, yes, in spite of this rocky period where I figure out what foods are off-limits to me, this diet (or menu, a term I like more) is better. It’s better in the long-run at defining and maintaining a new normal for me – one that makes me feel better all the time – one without constant bloating pressure, joint pain, constipation, low-blood sugar crashes.

I spent over 40 years ignoring my body’s responses to food. Now, I’m finally listening and that is always better.

 

 

 

Food

Lamentations of a Hasty Shopper

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Remember how on just Monday I told you that I was avoiding wheat because it made me feel “bloated, gassy, and achy?” Yeah, well, when I was shopping on Sunday, apparently, I forgot.

Actually, I didn’t forget. I was careless.

One of my favorite breakfasts is a bowl of hot cereal with mashed banana, milled flax seed, chia seeds and cinnamon. Most of the time, that hot cereal is steel cut oats; however, when my sister visited in June, she left a bag of Bob’s Red Mill 8 Grain Wheatless cereal and I really like it. I like it and I’m out of it. The logical thing, then, is to buy some more when I’m shopping on Sunday, right? And that’s what I thought I did.

Except I didn’t.

wheat2808I mistakenly picked up a bag of Bob’s Red Mill Old Country Style Muesli. Guess what the first ingredient is. Whole grain wheat. Guess what the eighth ingredient is. Whole grain triticale (wheat). And because I’m just that pig-headed, I made a big bowl and ate it anyway.

To quote Pretty Woman Vivian Ward: “Big mistake. Huge!”

A couple of hours later, I almost felt like I was having a heart attack. I’ve heard that one symptom of a heart attack is that if feels like an elephant is sitting on your chest. Well, I didn’t have an elephant on my chest, I had a rapidly expanding balloon in my chest. I’m completely serious when I tell you that it hurt to breathe and that I could not take a deep breath. With the Macy’s Day parade float filling in my thorax, there was just no room for my lungs to expand. The discomfort and occasional twinges of acute pain where so disruptive that I actually had to leave work.

Yes, you read that right. I had to take sick time because of cereal.

Now, as I told you some time ago, my sister discovered last year that her knees hurt more when she eats wheat. Then, a couple of months ago, I told you that I had found that I suffer similar (though less severe) symptoms when I eat wheat myself. My hands and feet swell. My knees and feet hurt, and I feel bloated. I’ve done a little experimenting here and there to see if those symptoms hold true anytime I eat wheat and they do. However, I have never had a reaction like I did yesterday.

And I won’t have it again.

I’m pig-headed about a lot of things, I’ll admit that freely. However, I’m no so pig-headed that I’m going to put myself in that kind of pain again. I don’t buy a lot of processed food; however, from this point forward, I will read the labels of the processed food I do buy far more carefully. Shop in haste, repent in leisure. And, honey! Do I ever repent?!

So. Now I have this nearly full bag of Bob’s Muesli. Any takers?

Food

‘Tis the Season

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…the fundraising season, that is.

School is back in session and you know what that means! Yep. Cookie dough, popcorn, doughnut, candy and cookie sales. This weekend at the grocery store, I was approached by the cutest little con man to ever wear a Cub Scout uniform. In no time at all, he had separated me from my money and I was the proud  owner of a bag of caramel corn – premium caramel corn, no less. With pecans, almonds and stuff. As I walked away from the adorable huckster with the bag of popcorn coated with more refined sugar than I’ve eaten in two months, I lamented that I didn’t just give him five bucks and run like hell.

That’s what I do for the Girl Scouts. I give them money for their troops, but I don’t take the cookies. As I mentioned some time ago, I cannot be trusted with a box of Tagalongs; so, I make a donation directly to the troop instead. Normally, the troop gets some piddling little percentage of the sale. If I give them a five, they get 100% of that five and I don’t end up with tight pants. Plus, my five amounts to a whole lot more than they’d get from me buying three or ten boxes of cookies. Did I say ten? I meant four. Three or four boxes of cookies.

school-fundraisersPTA, Girl Scouts, Boy Scouts, Band, Science Club, you name it – everyone seems to be raising money for something and they all seem to be selling refined sugar to do it. Whatever happened to selling candles and wrapping paper? I suppose fundraising is easier to do year over year if you sell something quickly consumed and we consume sugar a whole lot faster than we do candles and wrapping paper. In fact, until Katrina, I think I may have had wrapping paper I’d bought from a coworker’s child ten years before! Hey, it was pretty and I bought a lot. But, I just proved my own point. There’s no way on earth I’d have ten year old World’s Finest Chocolate covered almonds. It’s a minor miracle if I have ten minute old World’s Finest Chocolate covered almonds.

I truly sympathize with the clubs and organizations that have to raise funds. My mother was the leader of my sister’s Girl Scout troop from the time they were Brownies until they graduated from high school. Everything they did, I did. Plus, I was a member of a troop of girls my own age. I was a cookie seller times two! My sister’s troop planned a trip to Europe and we raised money for almost three years to make that happen. We had tag sales, bake sales, and car washes. We raked leaves, babysat, ran the city’s public pool in summer, worked as janitors at a church, and had fund-raising dinners. (Until that time when we gave the town food poisoning. Looking back, if we’d had a toilet paper sale in conjunction with the dinner, we’d have made a fortune! Missed a great opportunity.) In the end, we raised enough money for the troop to go to Europe on a six week tour. That was some serious fund raising, let me tell you. So, when I say that I get the pain of fundraising, I really do.

I get their pain and I support their efforts; however, after consuming that sugar-laden bag of popcorn and dealing with the wreckage that was my entire system afterwards, I’ll revert to my previous plan:

Give ’em five bucks and run like hell.

 

Food, Habits

On The Faces of Things

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chickensWhen my son and I evacuated New Orleans to get away from Katrina, we went to the home of my cousin Dorsey and his wife Susan. Now, Susan hasn’t eaten anything that used to have a face for as long as I’ve known her. Even knowing this, I emptied my freezer – including a frozen chicken – when we left NOLA. After arriving at their house, I was putting the chicken in the freezer when I dropped it. Their burglar alarm registered the sound as broken glass and called the police. Uh huh. Karma.

Once, frustrated with the limited restaurant options compatible with the Adkins diet I was on, I told Susan that, although my restricting factor was the opposite of hers, I had a glimpse of how difficult it was for her to eat out anywhere. I thought I understood, at least a little.

HA! Hubris.

These days, I’m not eating animal protein – with the exception of a little grated Parmesan on some of my roasted vegetables, and the eggs used as binding agents in many veggie burgers and sausage. I am also avoiding refined sugar, caffeine, and most wheat since it makes me feel bloated, gassy and achy. (Ezekiel bread is something of an exception; but, we’ll get to that another time.) These restrictions really don’t leave much on menus that I want to eat right now. Seriously, look over a menu next time you eat out. There’s not much there for gluten-free vegans. (I’m not really one of those; however, it’s the easiest description I can come up with at the moment and I’m feeling kind of lazy. So, there you go.) And menus at social events can be just as much of a wasteland as the ones at restaurants.

On Saturday, my company very graciously held a picnic for all facility employees at the Nashville Zoo. It was cool and overcast – really a great day to be out there, not Southern, sticky hot. They set up an enormous carnival in the middle of the zoo with lots of activities for children and with food and soft drinks for everyone. They grilled up hamburgers and hotdogs, had popcorn, sno-cones and cotton candy. It really was like a carnival! Great family fun and VERY generous of the company. (NOTE: I am in no way either complaining or criticizing this event, merely making an observation from a dietary viewpoint that is very new to me.) Anticipating a sugary, carnivorous menu, I took couple of apples and some water with me. That turned out to be a good thing. Although I was able to enjoy some of the popcorn, the rest just didn’t fit with how I want to eat right now to achieve how I want to feel. And that’s my issue, not my hosts’, let me make my thoughts on that perfectly clear, as well.

In years past, I’ve had people over for dinners and picnics, and I’ve served everything from homemade lasagna, jaeger schnitzel and moussaka to fried chicken and crawfish magnifique. As the hostess, I’ve served things that I wanted to serve with very little thought to my guests’ dietary restrictions. I really don’t even know if my guests had any! I can tell you that I will now be far more sensitive to that sort of thing.

So, Susan, it’s okay for you to come to dinner. Now, I truly do understand and I have some fantastic things on the menu that never once had a face.

 

Food

Cold (Cereal) War

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colorful cerealThe cereal aisle is a minefield and, last weekend, I blew my leg off with the help of a leprechaun. That’s a little graphic for Lucky Charms; but, you get the idea.

I wasn’t really eating Lucky Charms – I had Kashi’s Heart to Heart Oat Flakes & Blueberry Clusters. The whole box. Yes, I ate the whole box in two days. It’s only 1400 calories for that whole box, true; but, it’s hardly a balanced diet now, is it?

Mine number one for cold cereal is the convenience of it. When I’m tired or just don’t feel like cooking, it’s so simple to just reach on top of the refrigerator, grab the box, pour a bowl of it, top with almond milk and dig in. It’s so much easier to pour that bowl than it is to actually cook a meal, right? However, as I’ve learned in all of my research, our healthiest diets come from enjoying a wide variety of foods that give us a wide variety of vitamins and minerals. Cereal just doesn’t do that. And, did you notice how there was no mention of measuring an actual serving there?  That’s mine number two.

One serving of the Kashi cereal has 200 calories. Not bad, right? Well, a serving is one cup. One. Cup. Measure that out. It’s not much, is it? Even using the little rice bowl from my sushi set, it doesn’t come close to looking like a very filling breakfast, much less feeling like one. And many cereals with purportedly low calories per serving have an even smaller serving size. Be sure to check the ingredients on those low calorie options, too. Many of them are loaded with mine number three.

That, of course, is sugar. They may call it sugar, cane syrup, corn syrup, sucrose, fructose, dextrose, or many other things; but, at the end of the day, it’s sugar. Consuming refined sugar in foods sets me (maybe not you, but certainly me) up for cravings about 30 minutes after I’ve eaten, regardless of how filling the package says the cereal is. And that’s mine number four.

It’s the marketing. Gluten free. Whole grains. News flash: neither claim translates to “good for you.” Gluten free is necessary if you have gluten sensitivity or celiac disease; however, if you don’t, it’s meaningless. It’s the new buzz phrase. And remember, taffy, Rice Crispie treats, Tootsie rolls, and hot fudge are all also gluten free. As for cereals made with whole grains, sure, there are all kinds of healthful options – options like Cheerios or Special K. Or, there are other options like Lucky Charms, made with whole grains (and marshmallows), Cinnamon Toast Crunch (that actually leaves sugar in the bowl) and let’s not forget Fruit Loops (there’s just so much to say there that I can’t even start).

Now, if you’re one of those people who can actually keep a box of cereal until it goes stale, then you’re the Eisenhower of breakfast cereal. I tip my hat to you on account of I’m more along the lines of Hoover – the vacuum, not the president. If a box of cereal lasts three days in my house it’s because I was out of town for two of them. But, if you don’t require adult supervision, then cold cereal is a great, occasional breakfast option. If you’re like me, it’s probably best to leave the box on aisle two.

After all, what’s the point in engaging in cold cereal war when you know you’ve already lost?