Category Archives: Thought Patterns

What’s going on in my head

Food, Thought Patterns

More Than One Way to Get There

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Ancient_Roman_road_of_Tall_AqibrinIn the Roman Empire, it was said that all roads led to Rome and, I guess, it was true since the Romans built all the paved roads.  If you build all the roads, you get to make up all the sayings about them. In the case of resolutions – whether new year’s, new Monday or post pig-out, I think that most roads lead to weight loss – or have the goal of it, anyway.

But there are lots of roads to get to that destination.

On Facebook, a friend posted a photo of herself holding a dress she wore when she was about 200 pounds heavier. In the text she posted with the photo, she said something about the gastric bypass surgery she had and how many people view that as taking the “easy” way out. Anyone who thinks that there is any easy way to lose 200 pounds is, not to put too fine a point on it, an idiot.

As I’ve said over and over in this blog, I share some of my own experiences losing weight, and the foods and habits that helped me do it. However, there are many different ways to lose weight effectively and healthfully. I constantly stress healthfully because for every solid program out there, there are three or four completely cockamamie ones. I’ve tried a few of them with limited positive results and a litany of negative experiences. Seriously, who wants to smell like vinegar all the time? So, again, as long as you lose weight in a healthful way, I say:

Go with what works for you!

For the seriously obese, gastric bypass or lap bands may be the only options that save their lives.  Even with the surgery, diet and exercise must be altered to incorporate healthful habits or the weight loss will never be permanent. I know of a few gastric bypass patients who have gained all of the weight back because they didn’t incorporate the changes.  The same thing is true for packaged food diets. If you don’t incorporate good food choices, portion control and exercise into your lifestyle, the weight loss will be only temporary.

Making those sorts of sweeping changes for maintenance is not easy, regardless of the method one used to achieve the initial weight loss.

Any real weight loss or healthful living program takes commitment, diligence, consistency and time. Let’s not forget about time. After all, neither Rome nor her roads were built in a day.

Body Changes, Thought Patterns

Hey! I Know Her!

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You know how when you are approaching a store you see your reflection in the door class? For a long time now, that reflection has looked alien to me; however, it’s finally happening. I’m finally beginning to recognize my own reflection in the glass.

1014px-Kitten_and_partial_reflection_in_mirrorThe truth is, I’ve never really had a good idea of what size I am. For a long time, I would see someone on the street or in a store and would ask my son, “Am I the her size?” He would answer yes or no; but, looking back at photos from the Great Before, I have an idea that either he didn’t look at them or he just said what he thought I wanted to hear since I was much larger than I thought I was. Now, my family says that I am smaller than I think I am.

Part of the issue may be my shape. Some people are shaped like apples (which is really unfortunate for may reasons), some like hourglasses (we don’t like them), and some (like me) are more pear shaped. My upper body didn’t look all that big to me, but my lower body was taking up a whole lot of real estate.

The Apple People carry their excess weight almost exclusively around their middles. Their legs and perhaps even arms are surprisingly free of excess fat given what is around their abdomen. This means that pants that fit their waists will alway be super saggy in the rear.  Or, if they go with skinny jeans, the waistband of the jeans will have to fasten somewhere near their pubic bone. (I saw a woman dressed like this the other day. It was, let’s say, an unfortunate look and one I’m sure she wasn’t going for.) Apple People have more fat stored around internal organs, putting more stress on them.

Hourglass People would be more like Hourglass Women and V Men. Think Sofia Vergara and Shemar Moore – those are the kinds of people I’m talking about. We hate them on principle. Now, stop thinking about them and let’s get back to the subject at hand.

Seriously, stop it.

The Pear People carry their weight more in their hips and thighs. According to the Mayo Clinic, Pear People are less likely to have metabolic syndrome and have a lower risk for heart disease and for developing diabetes than Apple People. A study at UC Davis finds that having a lot of junk your trunk is just as bad for you has having it around your middle.  These studies are like any others in the world: they find what they are looking for, I think. Eggs are good for you or they are bad for you. Chocolate is good or bad. Red wine is good for you – that is all. The findings so often depend on who is funding the research. Regardless of who is signing the checks, all studies find that having excess body fat is detrimental to our health and we have to get it off. So, although it may not make a difference, if you want to know your fruity shape, find it by calculating your WHR or waist-to-hip ratio.

When we do shed that excess fat, we see new muscles, we get new clothes, new energy and a whole new reflection to greet us in the mirror. It’s takes some getting used to; but, it’s totally worth it.

Thought Patterns

Let This Be The Day

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To tell  you the truth, I’m completely wiped out as I sit here this morning. I have several things on my mind I’d like to share with you; but, I haven’t the energy to do it. So, with that in mind, I’m just going to issue a challenge to you:

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I’ve got good things for my spirit planned for the weekend. I hope you do, too. Until Monday……

Exercise, Thought Patterns

Just Because…A Human Lives Here, Too

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“I’ll take ‘Blog Goddess Jon Anne Doty’ for $1000, Alex”

“Fastidious Housekeeper”

“What is ‘apt description’?”

“No, I’m sorry! What we were looking for there was ‘What is an implausible epitaph’?”

les-miserables-madame thenardierYeah, that’s what will happen if I’m ever a Jeopardy category. Some poor schmuck (who never read my blog) will lose a grand. Fastidious housekeeper? Me? In the immortal words of Madame Thenardier: Don’t make me laugh!

My Just Because plan for the weekend was stormed out. I had planned to go to Normandy Lake and learn to paddle board; however, scattered and isolated thunderstorms were predicted all weekend long and I spent WAY too much time as a swimming instructor and lifeguard to even think about going on the water in a storm. While I was thinking about a Plan B, I began to do a little housework and, soon, cleaning my house became my Plan B.

Now, you’re probably thinking that housecleaning is more of a Have To than a Just Because. Well, here’s the thing: because of my bizarre schedule, when I’m at home, I’m usually writing or asleep, mostly asleep. I do dishes, floors, laundry and the stuff I have to do to function; but, dusting, window cleaning, floor scrubbing, and closet organization just doesn’t happen. If it’s pretty on the weekend, I want to be outside in the sun before I really do turn into a vampire. I don’t want to be inside doing housework. So I don’t. However, as a result, sometimes it’s a little hard to tell that a human lives in this house with the Horde.

So, on Saturday, after breakfast with co-workers at a local buffet (more on that tomorrow) and a trip to the Farmers’ Market on the Square, I did household chores. I took off my recycling, shampooed carpets, washed curtains and windows, bathed dogs, flea-treated cats, organized closets and drawers, scrubbed floors, and donated clothes. Today, I will finish organizing the kitchen, wash linens, iron clothes (while watching movies), and read.

And, when I go to sleep, I will be tired. I will still be disappointed that I didn’t get to paddle board; but, ultimately, I will be okay with the rain that kept me indoors. Just Because my house is once again a home.

Exercise, Thought Patterns

Play It Again, Stella

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As I think I’ve mentioned, I have quite the menagerie – two dogs, four indoor cats, and several feral kitties that I feed. So, when my friend Sean (he of the fabulous socks) and his wife had only two dogs themselves, theirs would come join our pack when the Opreas would go out of town. (Click on the link. Yes, Sean and Erin really do look like that. Crazy fit!)

241913_10150981526903197_988149809_oAnyway, they have this one Lab mix named Stella. Stella has had some traumatic events in her life and has rather a unique personality as a result. But one thing about her is all Labrador – that dog loves to fetch! As a human, this game has a short life-span for me. Five or ten throws and I’m pretty much done. Not Stella! She will bring the ball back to you to throw again and again until you throw your arm off with it. Then, she’ll bring the ball AND your arm back to you. She just loves to play.

Which reminds me of children and how they love to play. As adults, we lose a lot of that. We run for exercise, to make a meeting or to beat that extreme couponer to the check-out line. We don’t run “just because.” Now think about toddlers. When was the last time you saw a toddler walk anywhere? They typically don’t. They run. They run because it’s new to them. They run because everything around them is exciting and they want to get in on it as soon as possible. They run because they can. They run for joy.

As adults, it is SO easy to let the day-to-day slog of going to work, paying bills, fixing leaky faucets, grocery shopping, vet visits, etc., to drain our joy. Under daily pressures, the easiest thing in the world to forget is to have fun – real belly laughing fun.

This weekend, do something just for the fun of it. Go to a movie or to a batting cage. Play miniature golf or regular golf. Go for a swim or a hike. Lie on a blanket on the grass. Do something “just because.”

I’ve already got a “just because” planned for myself. Check back with me on Monday to see how it went. Until then, enJOY your weekend and your holiday!

Remember to play.

Body Changes, Exercise, Thought Patterns

Memories of Beast Mode

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I’ve never climbed Mt. Everest and, unless they install escalators and coffee shops the whole way up, it’s unlikely that I ever will. Just watching movies about it makes me feel cold and winded. In spite of my inexperience, I’ve made a couple of assumptions. For instance, I assume that the first climb is the most difficult. Subsequent climbs probably aren’t a cakewalk; but, I assume that, in those climbs, there is both comfort and confidence in the knowledge of a previous successful climb.

Bodhi, my workout, um, partner
Ferocious Jungle Kitty Bodhi, my workout … um … partner

Yesterday, I did my exercises (planks, leg lifts, squats, sit-ups and push-ups) and I struggled with them. Part of the struggle was more with the Ferocious Jungle Kitty Bodhi who was “helping” me plank. (He’s really not as helpful as he thinks he is.) The rest of the struggle was with my muscles that are just weak! As I did my three sets of ten push-ups….with open hands….on my knees, I remembered when I was kickboxing. I was able to do my push-ups on the first two knuckles of my fists and on my toes. I could do sit-ups until I got bored with doing them. I was strong – stronger than I’ve ever been in my life! I was practically G.I. Jane, man! I was a beast!

I was. But that was two years ago.

Rats.

Just thinking about it made my spirits flag and sapped my energy. At that point, I had a couple of choices:

  1. I could continue down that road of thinking about what I lost – what I let go, really – my strength and fitness. I could revert to my old self-defeating thought patterns that end up with me in the freezer section with a spoon, or
  2. I could strengthen my newer, empowering thought patterns that end up with me being a beast.

I chose to feed the right wolf.

Okay, so I’m no beast today. But, like the climber, I know I’ve done it before. It really does give me comfort and confidence that I can do it again. While my schedule and budget don’t allow for kickboxing anymore, I do have a living room floor and can do a great deal of strength training using my own body weight. While I will still be on my open hands, resting on my knees for tomorrow’s push-ups, I know that in a few weeks, I’ll be on my toes again. And, in a few more weeks, I’ll be back on my knuckles.

I am strong. I am determined. I am capable.

And I’ve climbed this mountain before.

Food, Thought Patterns

Turns Out, Everybody DOES Have One

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….an opinion, that is.

You know that childless friend who sees fit to tell you how to raise yours? Repeatedly? How about the coworkwer who is 100 pounds overweight who wants to tell you how to lose weight? The couch potato cousin with all the great workout tips? The broke brother who wants to tell you how to run your business?

Right. C’mon! You know them and so do I. These last couple of weeks I’ve heard from a lot of them. And you know what I did with their opinions? I put them right where I put every other piece of junk mail I get – in the trash.

The truth is that most people will give you an opinion on anything and everything, whether they actually KNOW anything about it or not. I’m sure that I’m guilty of it, as well. I try very hard not to tell someone what they “should” or “ought” to do. I’m not in their shoes. I don’t have all the facts. I am not qualified to tell anyone what they should or ought to do! And, guess what. No one is qualified to tell you that, either.

I can tell someone what I might do in their situation as I understand it, but I cannot tell them what to do. Even this blog doesn’t tell you what you should do or ought to do in order to make healthier choices. In this blog, I tell you what I’ve done and what has worked for me. I tell you my opinion based on my experiences, not my advice based on yours.

In regards to my juice fast: I’ve had people tell me that I wouldn’t be able to handle the physicality of my job without adding protein to the juices. (They have no idea how much protein a person needs in a day or that plant supply protein. They certainly had no idea how much a participant ingests on the reboot.) I’ve had people tell me that I should drink more water. (They had no clue how much I was already drinking.) Wrong and, oh, yeah, wrong.

I’ve also read accounts from and actually spoken to people who have done the juice fast. Them, I listened to. They’ve done it. They’ve walked the road and, although my body will not likely respond exactly like theirs did, they can give me a fair idea of the lay of the land. The thing that made me modify my original plan was a medical condition I’ve had for years that, frankly, I’d forgotten about and didn’t factor into the equation.

So, I’m going to break my own rule here and give some advice.

To those of you trying to make healthy choices and changes in your lives:

  1. Do not listen to anyone who has not already successfully made those changes.
  2. Listen to anyone who has successfully made them.
  3. Educate yourself and figure out what works for you.

To those of you who know someone who is trying to make healthy choices and changes in their lives:

  1. If you have successfully made those choices and changes for yourself, offer them positive encouragement and share the benefit of your experience.
  2. If you have not successfully made them, offer them positive encouragement (and maybe join their effort), or
  3. Keep your pie whole shut.

And, in the immortal words of Forrest Gump, “That’s all I have to say about that.”

 

Thought Patterns

One of the Club

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On September 11, 2001, I worked for an aircraft charter company in Latrobe, PA. That’s right. I worked in aviation. I worked less than 40 miles from where the passengers of United flight 93 wrested control away from their attackers.

In the days that followed, Americans shared feelings of anger, disbelief, shock, horror and sadness at those coordinated attacks. Members of the aviation community shared additional feelings of outrage that the things that we love so much – aircraft – would be used in such a vile and deplorable way. The club of Americans had a set of common feelings and reactions. The club of airplane geeks aviation professionals shared an additional set.

By now most everyone knows that comedian Robin Williams took his own life this week. That’s actually why I haven’t written for the past couple of days. I feel compelled to say something about it; but, I wonder what I can possibly add to what has already been said.  I will say this: the club of fans shares feelings of disbelief and sadness. The club of the chronically depressed shares additional feelings of dejection that one of our members has lost his fight against the demons.

The Demon Fighters’ Club is kind of a sucky club to be in, truthfully. We don’t really even have a choice about whether or not to be a member. We don’t have a cool clubhouse, handshake or secret code. We don’t go on exciting field trips to interesting places. We just go into the darkest, most hopeless parts of our minds where the demons of depression live.  We have lost members before – Freddie Prinze, Marilyn Monroe, Ernest AND Margaux Hemingway, Junior Seau, Wade Belak, Brian Keith, Sylvia Plath, Kurt Cobain, Tony Scott and so many others. Too many. They fought as long as they could; but were finally overwhelmed.

I can’t think that anyone would choose to have chronic depression or any other mental illness; so, as I said, we don’t really get a choice about belonging to the club. When we are well, however, we do have a choice about what we do with that membership. We use it to share our experiences. And because we, more than anyone else, know the signs of an episode, we watch out for each other. I believe that the conversation we need to be having right now is that the demon of the disease lies to us. It tells us that no one cares, that no one wants to hear about it….again. We MUST remember that this is a lie and we must reach out to each other. The disease tells us that we are one. Alone.

But we’re not. We are many. We are one of the club.

 

 

 

Thought Patterns

The Depth of My River

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OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAWhen we went kayaking on Sunday, the Barren Fork River was down at least six inches from last summer when I was last there. I know because the algae covered log in the photo above was submerged last year, but was high and dry this year. (It wasn’t as pretty this time; so, I didn’t take a picture of it.) The result of this lowered water level was predictable – my butt dragged the bottom far more frequently. There were even places where I nearly had to get out and pull the kayak over the rocks. That was suspiciously like work disturbing my lazy float down the river.

As it happened, I was able to ooch my way off the snags. (For those of you who aren’t familiar, “ooch” is the technical term for that half jump, half leap motion one makes while seated. It’s primarily used when positioning one’s chair at the dining table. Go ahead. Look it up if you don’t believe me.) While I was oh-so-gracefully ooching my way off of a boulder (I’m sure it was that big), I began to think about the water level’s effect on my movement down the river and the parallels between the river and my life experience these past 18 or so months.

Last year, the water was high, submerging most of the rocks deeply enough that we were able to float right over them. There were plenty of bumps underneath me; but, there was enough water to cushion me from any effects. Likewise, 18 months ago, I was working at a job I enjoyed, making a wonderful salary and enjoying every minute of it. There were plenty of regular life challenges and even the enormous one of my son leaving for college; however, my spirit had enough depth to cushion me.

Then things changed. Without going into the gory details, my spirit nose-dived, or to hold the metaphor, it shaoled; so, I had to leave that job.  Changing industries was easier said than done and I was unable to find a job for quite some time. My spirit shaoled further. I gained a little depth as I worked in the insurance industry; but, my failure in that endeavor took my spirit to an all-time low. The regular life challenges that were the mere pebbles I had ignored before became snags I could not navigate. I lost buoyancy. I got stuck.

20130616_121731It’s taken quite awhile and the help of quite a few people for me to ooch off those snags and get moving again. My spirit has deepened and is again providing me with the cushion I need to deal with life’s small challenges. I assure you that the challenges are still there, my renewed spirit is just letting me deal with them better.

There are many things that help keep my spirit full: writing, taking photographs, spending time with friends, hiking, kayaking, gardening among them. I have to remember to make time for these activities, for without them, my spirit just doesn’t have the depth to get me over the obstacles.

I have to mind the depth of my river.

 

Thought Patterns

Depends on the Perspective

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grasshopper-side-view-iUgh! I had the WORST weekend!! First of all, I got only three hours of sleep Friday night. Then, on Saturday, I went to help some people move and they weren’t even packed; so, I wasted a ton of time and I got stung by a wasp! On the drive home, the clutch burned up on my truck and left me stranded on the side of the road. The fastest wrecker service couldn’t be there for two hours, which would have made me miss my flight – which I barely made, but stunk the whole time. On Sunday, I was running late to go on the river with friends, didn’t have any sunscreen and realized when I stopped at the drug store that I had left my wallet at home. So, not only did I get sunburned, but I also couldn’t do my errands after the trip. To top it all off, I had some sort of intestinal issue that sent me running for the bathroom every 30 to 45 minutes from 5:00 Sunday afternoon until 6:30 Sunday morning.

You’ve probably already seen most of Julian Beever‘s sidewalk art – the pieces that are on the internet, anyway. The man is incredibly talented and creates wonderful illusions; however, the illusions only work if you look at them from the right perspective.  From the wrong perspective the image is all out of proportion.

The same thing is true of many of our experiences, don’t you think? As you know, I don’t believe that happiness is always a choice (think mental illness, war, extreme abuse); however, more often than not, we have the choice on how we approach things – either positively or negatively. The account you just read is my weekend from a negative perspective. Everything in the account is true; however, the focus is only on those things that went wrong. Now here’s how I really feel about the weekend.

On Saturday, I helped some friends move. I didn’t have a whole lot of time to help and they weren’t quite ready; but, we got lots checked off the list and I had a great visit with Kristina, anyway. As I was leaving, I felt a wasp hit the back of my shoulder; but, thankfully, it just barely got me. Whew! On the way to go get cleaned up for a once-in-a-lifetime flight on an historic airplane, I found out that the smell that had been coming from the truck was the stuck clutch burning up! Ack! None of the wreckers I called could be there in time for me to make the flight. Distraught, I sat weighing my options when I noticed that I had broken down RIGHT IN FRONT OF A GARAGE THAT SPECIALIZES IN TRANSMISSIONS! Hurray! I didn’t even need a wrecker! The three Hispanic men were so kind and pushed the truck into the garage (I say that I helped, but I’m sure they didn’t really need me). The shop owner agreed to hang onto it and give me an estimate for repairs on Monday. I was close enough to the airport at that time that I could have made the flight (departing in an hour) if I walked at a brisk pace. So, that’s what I did. I set off on foot and called a taxi service, which found  me in time to take me home, let me wash some of the sweat off and make it back in time to take the coolest flight of my life! Then on Sunday, I got to go kayaking with friends! I was a little late leaving home and running through the list of things I’d brought when I realized that I’d forgotten sunscreen. Rats. To make it worse, when I stopped to get some, I realized that I’d forgotten my wallet at home! Ah, well. Mark had some that I could use; so, it was fine. I missed my left foot in the first round of application and I missed a few spots on my shoulders on the second round. Even so, nothing burned to a painful degree. It was a great day! Thankfully, the intestinal distress that I experienced all night didn’t start until after we were off the river! And, for the first time, I was really glad that I work at night. The attacks stopped at 6:30; so, I was able to get some sleep during the rest of the day.

grasshopper-iIf I look at the weekend starting from a negative perspective, it ends up being a giant trial where I would have done better just to stay at home. From a positive one, the days become one grand adventure with a few little bumps.  The positive approach put the magic into the experience just as it does when it changes the stretched out green thing to the giant grasshopper perched on a pole that the artist meant it to be.